No rights, not even divorce

Something I found interesting in today's headlines was that a Missouri man was denied a same-sex divorce. 

I find it kind of interesting, like the reporter in the above article, that this is one of the first things I've heard about gay couples fighting to be able to legally get a divorce.

I guess it makes sense that if a marriage isn't recognized by a state, a divorce wouldn't be either.

However, just like the right to be married, I think everyone should have the right to be divorced. Of course, I guess it's just a technicality, like marriage is these days anyways to many.

I am an avid television watcher, as my husband and friends can tell you. In one of my favorite "night-time soaps" (as my mother likes to call them), Grey's Anatomy, the two main characters don't get married at first. They self commit themselves to each other on a post-it note. It seems silly, and it is, but it gets a point across about how marriage is viewed by many today in the U.S. It's a piece of paper, saying that you have devoted yourself to each other. Now, I doubt most newly weds view it that way, or many married people. However, it is a statement saying by law (and depending on your beliefs, by God) you are bound together until death. (Or eternity, if you have that belief).

In the U.S. in 2014, it is common place for a man and a woman to live together instead of getting married. It's common for a man and a woman who are married to also be "separated" instead of divorced. So, the same goes for gay and lesbian couples. The only difference, is that if you want to ever have that piece of paper, saying you are married again, you have to take care of the first one.

So, sure this couple could be "separated" instead of divorced, and based on how Americans live now, it might not be that big of a deal that they aren't "officially divorced."

One of the articles on this story said this case "isn't about marriage equality," because all they want is a divorce. It's clear to me though, both allowing gay marriage and gay divorce is about the same thing: equality.

Equality is what America is founded on, right? We don't discriminated based on religion or disabilities right? Isn't it about time we start showing that instead of talking the big talk, while not walking the walk?

Even if it's against your religious beliefs, or your moral code, or whatever the case may be; same-sex marriage is about equality right along with same-sex divorce.

Local: Bye bye benefits

I remember in my younger and more naive days, which really wasn’t all that long ago, I believed people only volunteered to serve for their elected capacities. In my mind they received no compensation whatsoever.
Yeah, go ahead and laugh at my childish notions all you want to. I just thought all local politicians were always doing their duty out of the goodness of their hearts from the city officials to the county officials.
Since adulthood, I have come to realize that most elected officials whether in our city, in the state or in Washington D.C., receive some sort of compensation, whether great or small. At the last Stockton Board of Aldermen meeting, I found out that sometimes, the local politicians get benefits too.
Regardless of this fact, which did surprised me, what surprised me even further was how the Board of Aldermen voted unanimously to say goodbye to their benefits to save the city some money.
Note again, that it was unanimous. I would be lying, if I said there wasn’t any discussion over the idea of keeping the benefits or at least keeping them longer to continue to benefit those currently in office, but regardless it was a unanimous vote. 
After starting my job as a full-time journalist about three years ago, I have heard countless comments about how corrupt city, county, state and federal government is and how all they do is spend our hard-earned money. That may be true for some politicians, but I think all in all it's a stereotype we get from movies and television. Of course, I could be wrong when it comes to the big leagues, but I like to believe  it's not true.
I think this move by the Board of Aldermen was a statement that counteracts that stereotype. Would I give up my health care benefits so that my neighbor wouldn't have to pay as many taxes? Honestly, I don't know the answer, but I am glad I don't have to consider it. Health care is already considered something that's important to have, but not as easy or as affordable to get.
I don't know how good the health insurance benefits were for the city officials, or where they each stand financially, but either way, giving up benefits is a move for all the city residents of Stockton.
This is the first time I've felt the need to thank specifically city officials in a column, but here it is: Thanks city officials for proving the stereotype wrong.
It's like we learned as kids, a penny saved is a penny earned.

"I want to discriminate!"

So, I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but you'll have to forgive me, as I have been very busy with my new job.

"I want to discriminate," is the statement some religious nut jobs should have recently been making. Oh wait, they were, just not in so many words.

Springfield recently passed a "non-discrimination ordinance." In a nut shell the ordinance is an addition to a previous one, adding that employers renters etc., can't discriminate based on sexual orientation as well as what was already in place, which notated non-discrimination against race, religion etc. 

I get that religious leaders who have spoken out about this are against it because they believe it demonstrates an allowance for homosexuality. A lot of these churches believe homosexuality to be a sin, because it is preached against in the bible. Accepting it politically, or otherwise, is saying that it's acceptable, but by God's definition (based on the bible), it's not.

I am a religious person, and even I have my limits to where I believe lines should be drawn in politics, morally. I would be lying if I said I felt otherwise, but this ordinance is not one of those times to speak out, in my moral opinion.

I don't care if someone is African American, gay, white, straight, jewish, atheist, southern baptist or Amish. Why should anyone not be able to get a house or get a job based on these above labels? The only reason someone should be denied a job, is if they are truly not qualified, or another candidate is better qualified. The only reason someone should be denied a house, is simply because they don't have the financial qualifications or because there is a proven record of destroying property.

Just because we don't like what someone does, doesn't mean we should decide for them that they should not be able to live down the street from us. No matter what we think or feel, we can't make people be who we want them to be. All we can do is show kindness for other people, inspite of the things that we might believe are faults. I mean, after all, isn't that what Jesus taught? To love one another? It wasn't to love someone only if we think they live their lives to deserve it. 

They've stolen my blissful ignorance!!!

I have NEVER been a healthy eater, yet I ALWAYS say that I want to be. One day, I'll get there and hopefully before I have a heart-attack from eating cheeseburgers way too often.

However, there is a place where I draw the line. It's frozen cheeseburgers, which I don't like to begin with and despise when they come from one of my favorite fast food joints. 

If I was to sit down and think about it, it's obvious that most fast-food joint burgers themselves and other items come to the restaurant frozen already, delivered by large trucks. However, when I go to a restaurant - greasy fast food or otherwise - I like to at least think I am enjoying a nice hand prepped meal. It may sound silly to most, but I like that illusion and the blissful ignorance of going to a restaurant.

I know many people - journalists and health nuts mostly - who will read through all the restaurant inspections etc. and choose whether to go to a place or not, based on that. Well, I will tell you, I cook ALOT for my family and for others. I don't have cockroaches in my kitchen or open containers of raw meat stored above open containers of produce, but I am sure that mine, and many other home kitchens, would not pass the tests carried out by our system.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that health code system is in place. I don't want to be eating somewhere that should clearly be shut down and be completely ignorant of it. But, in general I like the ignorance is bliss train of thought when it comes to my food. Sure, it's important to be informed that too many fatty cheeseburgers can kill me, but I don't really care to know how the cow was butchered etc. I like to pretend hamburger meat is just that: a burger. It's not a black and white cow that I might see as I am driving through small Missouri towns, it's just meat.

Now to many, especially those who grew up in the great outdoors, I just sound ignorant and ridiculous. I know that.

Now, how does this all tie in to this silly frozen meal concept? I don't want to know that the freezer burgers are similar to the ones in the restaurant. I'd like to be in blissful ignorance, thinking that each Steak N' Shake burger was made with love. :)

I know most people probably don't care about this as much as I do, and think I am being a silly little child. However, I don't care. This was the final straw that is probably going to make me want to NEVER eat Steak N' Shake again. I could ignore the extreme greasiness of the food and maybe how the floors are always greasy when I eat inside a Steak N' Shake, but now every time I go to the grocery store, I will be reminded of how one of the stops of my past had a big EPIC FAIL. If you knew how many times a working mom has to go to the grocery store, you would understand.

Will this blog come back to haunt me when I open up my own restaurant someday? Probably.

Moving is never easy

In a little over a week I will be leaving my current job, Editor of South County Mail to pursue a job with the Cedar County Republican . This means, not only changing jobs, but relocating. I really haven't relocated all that many times in my young life (cities and towns that is, not apartments, because I've lived in a lot of those.)

When I left my hometown in Rolla, Missouri, where I had lived my whole life, I was pursuing a Bachelor's Degree at Missouri State University in Springfield. Sure, I had traveled to places such as Hawaii, Scotland, England and various states in the U.S., but I had never lived anywhere else. Springfield, approximately 1 1/2 hours from Rolla, was not all that far from home, but the first time I had left to live anywhere else. My parents were older than most when I was born, so they were ready to settle down by then.

Since then, the only other place I have lived is Ozark. The city of Ozark is only about 20 minutes from Springfield, so it really wasn't much of an adventure and we did everything in Springfield then anyways.

After college, I freelanced a little while and then took my current job. Even though I stayed in Springfield, I really felt like I lived in many places. I truly felt like I was a part of Rogersville, Fordland and sometimes on rare occasions, Marshfield and Seymour. So now, as I live Springfield, I not only leave my home of 7 years behind, but I leave two other towns that feel like home.

I am very excited to move to Stockton, Missouri for many reasons. 1) The job will be great. 2) I'll be close to the lake. 3) We will be closer to my husband's family, that only lives about 20 minutes away.

However, it's hard to do. It seems strange to back up my belongings and move somewhere for a job, because technically, I've never done it before.

I am excited to embrace my new life, but I will be leaving an old one behind. It's sad, but happy all at the same time. I guess relocating is just part of growing up and I guess now it's time for me to make my own path.

It just feels odd to drive to a place and know it might be the last time you do so, right?

Here's my column I wrote for the paper.

No one else could do what he did

So, I told myself I wasn't going to blog about Robin Williams, because so much has already been said. What more is there to say? But, I couldn't help myself.

In my lifetime I remember a lot of celebrities who have died in various ways. Some have been ill, others died of old age, others died in plane crashes or something along those lines. I would have to say out of all the celebrity deaths, this one has hit me the hardest because there is no one else in this world who could do exactly what Williams could. (Kind of like The King of Pop, but that's a whole other story.)

Just about everyone who has ever watched comedy or movies, knows who Williams is. I was first introduced to his voice skills in Aladdin, which to this day, is still one of my favorite Disney movies. I could sing practically all the songs acapella, I know them so well.

Then as I got older I could appreciate Mrs. Doubtfire. A soon-to-be divorcee pretends to be an old woman so he be the nanny for his kids. I think this film always hit me hard because my father missed my half-sister so much after he got a divorce from her mother. Even to this day he refuses to watch any movie that involves divorce or a custody battle. I guess I related Williams to my father in a small part. A good father who just wants to be with his children.

Since then, I have grown very fond of his characters in Dead Poets Society, August Rush, One Hour Photo (it's a terrible movie, but his performance is absolutely stunning because it's so darn creepy), Jumanji, Night at the Museum (the first, not the second) and his Law and Order: SVU episodes (which were really darn good).

His death has made me realize a few things, but especially this:

It's easy to get caught up in our own world with work, friends, and entertainment. It reminds me how important it is to be there for other people. EVERYONE is going through something, even if we don't see it right away. I know when I am feeling blue the thing I want to turn to right away is either my friends or family. Some people keep it inside more, but I think the best thing we each can do, it let those we love know it. Don't delay! I know it sounds cheesy, "say it because each day might be our last." However, it's true, we never know when that person we're used to won't be there anymore. If my loved one is going through something, I sure hope I have let them know that I am there for them.

Staying connected or getting cut off?

I've been thinking a lot about social media, because as a journalist, it's a HUGE part of my job and thus, part of my life. I love a lot of things about it, but is it really connecting people more, or just cutting us off from the real world?

I can give several examples of each:

CONNECTING PEOPLE

Far Away, Yet Close Together-  My family doesn't get to travel a lot. We both have jobs that keep us extremely busy and we never seem to have money growing on trees (which makes sense, because according to most of my elders, it doesn't). So, we don't spend the money and we don't often take off long enough to go the places we would want to go.

Because of this, it's hard to see cousins, siblings etc. So I feel connected when I see photos of my cousin's twin daughters or when I hear the day to day status updates from my aunt.

I never see my best pals who live all the way across the country, but yet, when I turn to the internet, the best of conversations can be had. It's about as close to face to face interaction with those I may not see again, or for a really long time.

Internet Will Tell What They Won't- I find it so interesting that some of my friends are mostly introverted, yet telling something to the void is okay. Even those who aren't, will tell sad news or something totally unexpected on their Facebook status. I guess they feel they can get it all over in one go, instead of having to tell everyone.

Some examples include
-coming out of the closet
-a death in the family
-miscarriage
-things they don't like about people, but would never tell that person to their face
- when they are pregnant

Find things you would never have found on your own- I love Twitter and Pinterest for a lot of reasons. The biggest one is because you can find news articles you wouldn't have once come across, you find recipes, your friend's plans for her wedding gown or a joke your friend might not have told you face to face.

CUTTING US OFF

The unimportant seems important- It's easy to get caught in this trap if you are even remotely an emotional person. All social media has a way of making you think something unimportant is a sign of a dying friendship or someone insulting you. I can't share the names of the people in these situations, but let me give you a few examples of stupid fights/problems that start because of social media.

Person 1: Did you see this link I posted?
Person 2: No I didn't.
1: Oh, (sounding disappointed) I posted it because I wanted you to see it.
2: (Awkwardly) Umm....sorry.

Person 3 (in private message): Why did you unfriend me? I am sorry if I did anything to offend you. I don't understand because I really enjoy seeing your posts.
Person 4: (awkwardly lying) I don't know, it must have been a Facebook glitch. I didn't unfriend you, because I would never do that.

Status Update: I have some friends that have not been good friends at all lately. I guess I know who my true friends are.

Status Update: Let's see how many people repost this: If you are really my friend, just say one word, ONLY ONE WORD about how we first met.

Situation: Someone you thought was your best friend or was a family member forgets your birthday, you know they probably just didn't see it or get on Facebook that day. But, you still think they should have remembered you. Who cares if they have 10,000 friends? What about you?

Situation: You write a message and you know they read it because the message box shows a check mark and says "seen." Why wouldn't they reply to you, isn't your message more important than whatever they were doing?

Love doesn't just "happen"- When Harry Met Sally would never happen today. Too bad, because it's a great movie. In a nutshell Harry and Sally Meet in college and run into each other a couple time in New York and by the time they are in their 30s they realize that they are meant to be. They kiss at midnight on New Year's and the rest is history.

That never happens now. EVER. First of all, it's a movie. But, it really probably wouldn't happen now because we all have Facebook or LinkedIn or Twitter. If that film took place today it would suck. Synopsis: Harry and Sally share the ride to NY from CA. They kind of have a spark, but they say goodbye and go their separate ways. Since Harry wants to sleep with her he friends her on FB. He stalks her for years and knows everything about her. Then when they bump into each other again they don't know what to talk about because they already know everything about each other. The End.

Now, again this being a movie, in real life perspective, people who date don't have to ask each other as many questions, which is a large part of dating fun and intrigue. I am a big fan of letting things happen naturally, but in this age, natural isn't really natural anymore.

Friendships don't take as much work-  Why would I bother going to lunch with a pal when I read all her thoughts on Facebook? I don't need to ask about my friend's relationships, because Facebook already tells me when they are in one. I don't need to keep a list of my friends birthdays, because Facebook will remind me. The list goes on and on and on.

I could probably rant for another 10 pages but my post is already too long. Overall I think social media is digging us in a hole we will probably never escape. But, am I going to stop using it? Probably not.

Schools: Big vs Small

I have been married for 5 1/2 years, but my husband and I are still in the "when we grow up" phase of our lives. We have lots of plans for the future, which is not a bad thing, even though we don't agree on the same things always. It's part of being in a relationship and part of compromising for each other.

One thing we have discussed is building a house in a few years when we are at the right point financially, when we are ready to make the transition and when we find the right location. That way, we can have all the bells and whistles, but for a cheaper price, since his dad is a framer and has built houses for a living.

In discussing where we might live we have gotten into the debate about schools, which is natural because we have a kid. He grew up in a small town with the population 220. I grew up in a city with about 19,000. Neither place was large, but still, it's a considerable difference between the two. He had a graduating class of 16, I had a graduating class of 316. (Not exactly, but close). Technically, he wasn't even in his graduating class, because he got his GED. But, you get the point.

His activities while in school: Basketball. My activities in school: Band, Choir, Drama and Student Council. Needless to say, I did more and had more opportunities. However, our families philosophies were also different. His parents said that a teenager should be with his family or studying, because family is forever. Plus, they have to earn their keep and help around the house. My parents said that I should help around the house for allowance, but I should be involved in school academically and in extra curricular activities.

*Note- I have never thought negatively about small schools, but I have just never thought they were for me or my family.*

Recently, I attended four graduations, three for work and one for a family member's graduation. After that, I have come to a couple conclusions.

1) Unlike one speaker said, smaller schools are not better than bigger ones. Just because you go to a large school doesn't mean you are "just a grain of sand on the beach." You can excel no matter where you are and no matter where you come from.

2) Bigger schools are not better than smaller ones. To quote one of my favorite 2014 speakers giving an address for a graduating class of 30, "The size of the city you are from has no relevance to your intelligence. You will go on and meet people from places like Hong Kong, New York City and Tulsa. You will have to compete against some of these people, and you will do just fine."

3) It's important to find a school that focuses on academics, but has fun stuff too. A graduate of a small school recently told me "I wish I had gone to a bigger school. I would have had more to choose from."

4) When it comes to the extra stuff, some schools have co-op sports and activities, so if you choose a small school, all is not lost.

Maybe I had the wrong outlook and still do. But I considered HS important because it leads to college. If you get bad grades in HS, you won't get into the school you want. Other than that, you are still a kid. You should have fun because when you grow up, there will be a lot more responsibilities to worry about.

I got my best relationship advice from the internet

April Fools! (Alright I might be about a month late on that one). 

I just felt like ranting about these so called "relationship advice" articles. I think they are absolutely hilarious. Even though, like many out there, I have looked up my fair share of answers on Google. Everybody does it and don't try to lie about it. 

From "Best Places to Meet Women" to "7 Solutions that can save a relationship," there is heap loads of relationship advice on the web from various sources, including news sources and the like I would normally trust. Those two listed above are not even as ridiculous as some. I just chose them because they are the first ones I Googled. 

I don't know where these so called "experts" come from half the time, but honestly, no one can give you advice that will 100 percent fit you, not even a shrink who knows what you tell them. Why? Because no one knows your relationship and how you feel about it, and how your spouse feels about it, better than you. 

I remember when I was a kid I had watched too many movies, read too many dramatic novels, listened to too many love songs and the like. Because of this (and I was a chubbier girl, but really not too much so) I thought that because I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, I would be ALONE FOREVER. This at the time felt like a death sentence. 

So, from a very young age, I decided I would never be married and never have kids. Well, anyone reading this who knows me, knows that both of those things turned out to be false. In fact, after my first college date, I realized I had been wrong to so severely judge myself . We are, after all, our own worst critic. 

I remember, along with a lot of my generation, taking Seventeen Magazine quizzes etc. about who was my perfect guy. I don't remember the results, but I remember when I took them, when I answered the questions I would be thinking of the guy I was interested in at the time, thus skewing my results on an already ridiculous quiz that was made up by someone who didn't know me or have any idea of who I was. 

My relationship now, isn't perfect, but there isn't one out there that is. Really, everyone just takes it one step at a time. All you can do is do your best and hope the person you have chosen is in it for the long haul, through thick and thin. 

I will never forget what my husband said to me when we were first dating. I had just passed the test of my first real relationship, which left me broken, to say the least. All my new found self-esteem from that first date in college that I gained after high school, had been washed away and only neglect and the feeling of having lost myself still remained.

I said, "Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can know their heart 100 percent and in this life there are no guarantees."

He looked me straight in the eye and said "There is such a thing as a guarantee."

He elaborated, saying that if you chose the right person who would stick by your side no matter what happened, that your marriage could be guaranteed. That was pretty good advice that he gave me, and you know what, it seemed to work out for him okay for the last 5 years and counting. 

I would have to say, I usually try not to ask relationship advice from anyone, minus the occasional family member. But, I think, if you are looking up advice on the Internet for your relationships, you are looking in the wrong place. 

Of course, what do I know? Don't listen to me. I am just a blogger on the Internet. 

An academic year in review

At The Marshfield Mail  where I work as a contributing writer and as editor for SouthCountyMail.com , we rotate who writes the columns for the paper. This week I wrote about this academic school year, which has been a strain on the communities I cover, as well as on myself as a reporter. 

For those of you who don't live in Southern Webster County, let me give you a little insight in what has happened throughout this school year: 

- An FFA teacher and adviser in a very agricultural focused community, was charged with driving while intoxicated, killing a man when he passed over the median on a highway and for endangering his two daughters, both of which were in the car at the time. 

- Three administrators made the decision to resign, one for another job, and two because of "difference of opinion" with the board of education. 

- A flyer went viral on social media and at the high school building, implicating three students in participating in a "virgin surgin contest," planned to take place at the high school homecoming dance. According to officials, this was a case of bullying and not an actual planned event by these students who were singled out on the flyer. 

- A cross country coach died suddenly, leaving behind his academic bowl participants during the district and state competition season, his cross country kids who were preparing for summer camp, his wife and two kids as well as many friends and past students that admired him greatly. 

These have given me stories that have been highly read, but most of all these things have tested me beyond what I ever thought possible in my career. It's taught me a few things: 

1. Sometimes in this job you have to cover things you don't want to cover. 

2. We cover these types of stories not just because they are controversial, but because we want to help the community come to terms with something that has deeply affected them or something that worries them. 

3. Just when you get used to the job, something will happen that will throw you for a loop

4.  Not everything is what it seems. 

As so many others do, I feel that when the time comes that I can put this school year behind me and move on, it will be a very welcome door to close. A big difference from last year, when I literally cried at graduation. (Yeah people, laugh as much as you want. When my kid graduates I will be a total basket case.) 

I have been very grateful to so many compliments I have received lately from those communities. Each and every story I write, I try to think about how it will affect the person reading it, whether it's the person I write about, a parent, a student or an administration. I think about how it might be perceived and I know if it wasn't for the wonderful people in those communities, I would have run from responsibility a long time ago. 

It's scary putting something out there that people will criticize, but it's encouraging when you care about the community you cover and you know they care about you as an individual and as a news source too. 

So, next time you see a movie where a journalist is portrayed as an uncaring person who only looks at the bottom line, I expect you to yell and throw things at the television. I always do.  

My taboo topic: Gay Marriage

Today I am going to talk about something that a rarely, ever talk about. So folks, listen up.

I have always had strongly mixed feelings about the idea of gay marriage. But, if you want to know what I think, this will probably be one of the few times you'll hear it. After having a conversation with an extreme conservative this afternoon, I felt inspired to touch base on this topic.

I will admit that sometimes I waver on some areas of my faith, but in general, I am a Christian individual that believes that there is a God who made us to be heterosexual, not homosexual.

However, I don't think we should think anything negative about those who choose something other than that. If someone is attracted to the same sex, well then, that's their business and the government should not tell them that they can't be with the person they love. If the roles were reversed I wouldn't want someone to tell me I couldn't be with my husband because it was unnatural, a sin or a crime.

The bible, specifically Jesus Christ, taught that we should love one another and that everyone is our brother, or our sister. By that logic, Christians should be kind to EVERYONE, no matter their sexual orientation, their race, how much money they make or what they do for a living.

Now, I know a peaceful utopia is a dream that will never be realized in this world, but why for goodness sake do we need to make it harder on others, while using God's name as the reason? Didn't we learn anything from the crusades? From the religious persecution that so many Christians have endured from others because of their beliefs?

When I had a conversation with this extreme conservative today, he used the words "repulsive" and "disgusting," to describe the concept of a homosexual couple. That's the problem right there. No one should be considered truly repulsive or disgusting, just because of who they are. Even those who have committed a truly terrible crime (of which gay marriage is obviously not), I would never call that person repulsive. I think what they did is awful, but that doesn't mean that person is evil or a bad person.

This conversation also involved these "activists" who are "infringing their rights on the rest of us," through businesses being expected to serve gay couples etc. Let me just say, I don't think anyone is infringing anything on me, in any way. Also, the "rest of us," isn't a proper term to use either. Little by little the majority of people are becoming the minority.

A lot of Christians cite the fact that gay people don't often stay together and that they just sleep around. Another fact also cited tends to be that children should only have a mother and father.

I know a couple that defies both of these things, and in fact, everyday they are an inspiration to me. This couple has been together since the 60s, and they love each other very much and are married (whether it is recognized in Missouri or not.) They have adopted two kids. The kids are often taken to the movies, to plays, out to the park and out to do fun things with their dads.

This is a lot more than I can say for lots of heterosexual couples I know. The same concept applies now days as far as the sleeping around concept. Many couples don't stay together, they live together without marriage and some just sleep around with whoever without remorse, heterosexuals and homosexuals alike. So, I don't even see a difference between the two.

Also, I know a lot of parents who spend more time worried about themselves then they do their kids, so if a gay couple is going to raise kids and give them the attention they deserve and the care they need, I say go for it. A loving home is the most important thing. I rather have these foster kids etc. in a loving home than feeling abandoned, where there natural parents left them.

Now again, I don't believe that God created man to be with man or woman to be with woman, but it's not up to us to force our belief system on anyone. I won't refuse basic human decency to anyone, no matter their sexual orientation and I hope that soon, the rest of the world will come around to realizing that everyone in this world has great worth.

When in doubt: blame Obama

It's no secret that I am young and I haven't seen a lot of presidents in my day. Out of 44 presidents, I have only been alive for the last five of them. However, I didn't really know anything about policies etc. until Bill Clinton since. 

Yes, Clinton, George W and Obama have all done things that I wasn't happy with at the time, or now when I look back at their legacy or current decisions. However, anyone in government can tell you that you can't make everybody happy. 

Throughout all these presidencies I have heard a lot of bad things about them all, either in their decisions regarding the presidency or their personal lives. I don't think I need to take us through too much memory lane as most of us probably remember Monica Lewinsky, the Iraq War and the government shutdown due to the great Obamacare debate. 

However, none of these presidents, no matter how bad they were, can be blamed for everything we want to blame them for. 

As I am older, and I have many extreme conservative friends and family, I have heard a lot of hate about our current president. I like to think of myself as a moderate, who sees both sides. Plus, I strongly believe, that even though it is our job to help our government to make good decisions and call them out when they don't, that once a president is elected, that's that. 

Now, I'm not saying we should just leave them to their own devices, because that is a VERY BAD idea. However, when Barack Obama was elected, he became our leader and president. So, he is a big part of the checks and balances system when it comes to making our government function. Yes, he has made some bad decisions and yes, things aren't maybe functioning 100 percent the way we want. But, WE elected him. Not just one side, not just one person, but the majority vote. Isn't that what our founding father's planned? The people choose a man they believe to be fitting? 

Sure, the election process and our times have changed. But, he is our president, and in the end we should stand together as a country. 

Today, i read absolutely the most ridiculous post about Obama today, and trust me, I have read a lot.

 

Even though this guy was trying to make a point, Really? 

He stated that ever since the president took office the economy has gotten worse, his children have gotten older, he has gained weight, he has more grey hair and the cost of milk has gone up. 

Then he said that he was joining his fellow Facebook peers in blaming the president for everything under the sun. 

Sounds to me, even if this guy was making a joke or making a point to Facebook pals, maybe he needs to find some new friends.

Perfect ending + haters = one annoyed blogger

I wasn't going to blog about How I Met Your Mother, but there have just been too many negative posts online about it, that I just can't help myself. Even though, in the whole grand scheme of things, it's just a TV show.

**SPOILER ALERT**

I am going to do this in points, because there is just no better way to do it.

1. TED HAS TO END UP WITH ROBIN EVENTUALLY
Even though a lot of fans were unhappy with the whole Tracy died deal and now Ted is going back to Robin deal, I was not, and I don't think any fan should be. (Of course, everyone has their opinion.) Ted and Robin's characters had something that was real, and that was undeniable.
Even, if it didn't work out on the first try....or the second.... I don't think those kind of feelings for someone ever go away. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that they do. Especially when neither of them really did anything terrible and unforgivable to each other. Really, the timing was just bad each time around. Timing is part of life for everyone.
If Ted had never ended up with Robin, I am sure there would have been several fans who said "But, they were meant to be!" You can't make everyone happy.

2. THE WRITERS PROBABLY ORIGINALLY PLANNED THE ENDING, BUT THEY DUG A HOLE
First of all, the fact that writer's can make a show based on how someone met the mother of their children, is pretty impressive.
I think originally the writers wanted Ted and Robin to be together, but they didn't know how they would get there and the mom needed to be someone different to keep it interesting. The blue french horn? Really? It HAD TO HAPPEN. But, there were lots of hints all through the show that Robin wasn't the mother. So, what can they do when they find out the show is going to end?
Try like heck to get the ending they wanted in the perfect time allotted.

3. EMOTIONAL STORY MEETS COMEDY
I think a lot of the reasons fans were disappointed with the ending, is those fans probably watch it 100 percent for the comedy. I watched it because I liked Ted. He was the good guy who always seemed to finish last.
The last episode was kind of funny, but mostly just emotional for the characters. So, if you expect comedy all the way though a season finale that has a lot of emotion packed into one, well you are going to be disappointed.

4. REAL LIFE = NOT A FAIRY TALE ENDING
Things happen in real life to the people we love EVERY DAY. That's why I think the ending was more realistic than if Ted and Tracy had lived a perfect life until the end of time.
The writers chose to write about their friends and the stupid things they did while living in New York. It was based around hanging out and having a good time, with a reoccurring love story. If it had ended all with roses for everyone, it wouldn't be anything like real life, which was the whole premise of the story from the beginning.
People get divorced and Barney getting married was way out of character for him. People don't just change overnight, no matter what we like to believe.
Of course, in real life Ted and Robin probably wouldn't have ended up together either, but what they hey? Let them have their unrealized dream come true. At least something happy came out of a sad ending.

Really it was the perfect ending for that show. It will go down on my list of the few shows that the ending wasn't ruined. Maybe you should start watching more TV shows all the way from beginning to end. Then maybe you will be little more grateful for what you have.

Obamacare: The war on businesses that don't want to pay

Since the big blowup discussions about Obamacare, conservative republicans have been looking for anyway they can to shoot it down. There are several things that I find negative about Obamacare, but the "War on Religious Freedom" is not one of them.

The blatant truth is that the businesses such as Hobby Lobby, which are saying this overreaches religious freedom, are just looking for a way out of an obligation. Businesses are citing religious reasons to get out of
something they don't want to do, because religion can sometimes be a scapegoat to get you out of things.

Of course, in this country, we have religious freedom and I am grateful for it. As a religious individual I believe it's important to be able to worship in peace the way I believe is right.

Hobby Lobby owners may not believe in birth control, but that doesn't mean that they should deny an important health care measure to those who don't have the same faith.I have known members of my own church who work at Hobby Lobby who have used birth control. These businesses seem to only care about their own minority and not the majority.

Birth control can be very expensive. If you can buy the generic pills, it's not too bad. Even the generic can cost around $10, that's $120 a year. For some, that's $120 they don't have a year. But, the generic causes many side effects including depression, weight gain, heart conditions, vomiting, abnormal bleeding, cannot be taken with other medications and increases the chances of stroke. That is just to name a few. Some women just can't take it. I've know friends who had to take birth control that costs $40 a month for health reasons, aka $480 a year.

News flash folks, birth control prescribed by a doctor works like ten times better than the over the counter stuff anyways. Everybody knows that.

If you have to take another doctor-prescribed birth control form route, it can be VERY EXPENSIVE.

The simple truth is that owners of businesses like Hobby Lobby just don't want to give out more benefits out of its own pocket, and religious freedom might be the big business ticket out.

To be honest, I have so many thoughts about this topic, I am having a really hard time narrowing it down. But, if religious individuals really want to make the world a better place, not offering birth control isn't the answer.

In fact, I think it makes it a whole lot worse, for the adults, but mostly for the kids.

A love of Sports, spawned from a zero sports family

My parents are not sports fans, plain and simple. To my dad, whatever sport it is, it's just a silly time waster. In that category he also includes playing board games, video games and going to the gym instead of doing "real man work" outside. My mom just wasn't really into sports, because to her it was boring. Plus, she never could play them as a kid because she was born with hip dysplasia. It wasn't fixed correctly, so she has never been really able to play sports or do any strenuous physical activity that requires use of her legs and hip.

Though I have wonderful parents who I love very much, I was not raised with a sports favorable upbringing. But, that changed when I started optimist basketball as a kid. I loved participating in the sport that brought adrenaline and determination. Plus, it was as fun as anything I had ever done.

However, my love of the game phased during eighth grade tryouts. The coach told me "You just aren't good enough. Yet." Instead of turning that to a positive and fighting through while training harder than ever, I did the easiest thing. I gave up. Still I watched March Madness and NBA ball all through high school whenever I got the chance. But, I didn't support my local team, except by playing in the pep band. (adjusting glasses like a nerd right now.)

But in 2003, the same year I was rejected from the team, I realized that sports was about more than just a silly child's game, contrary to my father's thoughts on the subject. I realized it when I watched the Kansas Jayhawks play Syracuse in the March Madness championship game. I watched the Jayhawks play their heart out the entire season, only to lose by three points. It was a heart breaker for sure, and I am not afraid to admit that I cried. I knew, by the look of the KU players, especially one particular photo of Nick Collison (who now plays for the Oklahoma City Thunder), that appeared in the paper the next day, that this was much more than a silly game.

To these players, sports meant a lot of things. It meant determination, hard work, years of athletic conditioning and a dream they had devoted their lives to that wouldn't be realized that year.

I don't watch March Madness very often anymore. I have a kid and husband to take care of, a newspaper and website to help maintain, church responsibilities and my own athletic ambitions to accomplish.

But, I get to live through the eyes of other athletes every year. That may sound depressing to some, but it's really not. In essence, I am doing the same thing each and every fan does. I cover sports on occasion. Almost every game I cover (unless it's a boring one), I get to see that same fight and ambition. It's even better though, because I get to see it in high school kids. It's fantastic to see ambition in the eyes of a 18-year-old kid. It's a testament to the fact, that no matter what their elders say, kids aren't getting lazier. In, fact, I think a lot of them are harder workers. Just, maybe in a different way.

I still get to enjoy a game, but now, I know a lot more about sports and I get to write about how great local student athletes are after the fact. (Yes, sometimes how bad they were too.)

So, thanks KU Jayhawks for making me realize sports is more than a game. I am not betting this year, but if I was, all my money would be on you. Rock Chalk!

No Coffee? What?

On a daily basis, I usually have more than one thing I consider blogging about. Today, I had to comment on this blog that I absolutely love about journalists who don't drink coffee. 

As someone who doesn't drink coffee, I can totally relate. I think there are lots of assumptions about journalists, including the fact that the are coffee fanatics. Some others might include that they don't care about the normal folks, but just getting their story; a lot of them are smokers and that they are all tough SOBs. Let me just say, not all those things apply to all journalists. Movies have painted an interesting picture of our field, usually, not a pleasant one.

I laughed out loud when this blogger shared that he "hid his non-addiction." The job I have now is a little non-traditional, so I don't know how I would act if I was in the office more. But, when I first started working as a journalist as an intern, I totally brought in hot chocolate in a tumbler, trying to pull off the look. Everyone else seemed to have their coffee, so why shouldn't I? I craved attention from other coworkers, desperately wanting to fit in.

I think the wanting to fit in part is natural for anyone in their first industry job and I am glad I had that time to grow and learn not to care so much. When I was in college, honestly, I didn't care about fitting in at my college paper and by the time I got to be an intern, I really cared a lot. But, now I hope I have evened out and care just the right amount :) During that time, while I tried to fit in, I learned that I didn't have to try so hard. All I had to be was myself.

Now, the soda journalist, that I can relate to. I have had three supervisors/bosses who hit the soda hard whether that be Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper. I try to avoid that trap as well, but I can freely admit that a diet soda is a constant at my desk.

Now excuse me, I am going to go watch Michael Keaton in The Paper, because I have never seen it.

The human population, including myself, aren't fans of change

Since I can remember I haven't liked change. I don't like getting rid of memorabilia, I don't like leaving the familiar and I don't like seeing people I care about move away.

I think I get a lot of that resistance to change from my father.(Sorry dad!) To give you an example, he likes to collect and keep things like I do, although I believe that each generation is not as bad as the last. My grandfather is a terrible hoarder and my dad a semi-terrible hoarder, which means I must just be a hoarder? In addition to that, my father hasn't shaved off his beard since the 70s. I think he's had a beard so long, that he is afraid to see what he looks like after all these years.

We all fear change to a certain extent. I read up on a Harvard article on why people resist change. I have come to the conclusion that I am a textbook case.

1. Loss of Control- I know I feel this all the time. I don't like to be out of control in my own life. I like to know things are in order and in the place they belong as well as the fact that I can control what I do in the day. I want to keep things the same, unless there is a really good reason to change it up. As they say, if it isn't broke, don't fix it.

2. Excess Uncertainty- I think this is why my dad won't shave his beard, regardless of all my requests and ranting about it. He is afraid he will look older without it, people will see his scars from teenage acne, or that people won't think he looks good.

3. Surprise, Surprise!- I like surprise parties, but I don't like surprise visitors. I want my house clean before people come. I like to plan for vacations in advance and I don't like being rushed out the door for a surprise trip.

4. Everything seems different- "We are creatures of Routine," well isn't that the truth! I literally do a lot of the same things everyday. I usually watch at least 1-2 movies or tv show episodes a day, I go on a walk/run for three miles, I get a shower, I take care of my kid, I eat meals, I work and I go to bed. I think we all do this, with a few alterations here and there.

5. Loss of Face- I do worry about how people perceive me, no matter how much I tell myself differently.

6. Concerns about competence- One topic that can describe this all. Most senior citizens and new technology.

7. More work- I won't lie, when change might mean more work I am hesitant if not at sometimes resistant. If it's really worth it, I will do it, but I don't want more work on my shoulders without a purpose and a goal that is worthwhile.

8. Ripple effects- This one is a major struggle right now. If I make a decision that could possibly change my life, how will it affect those around me? Sometimes I think life was so much simpler back when I was a free agent per say, such as a young kid, or a college age student. I often worry, if I make this decision, how will it affect my husband, my child or even sometimes, my parents.

9. Past resentments- I can't say much to this subject, maybe I just haven't lived long enough.

10. Sometimes the threat is real- This is true sometimes, but the trick is knowing the difference between the real and the imagined. Changing jobs could be real, moving across the country could be real or deciding who or who not to spend your life with.

The fact is change is a part of life, and we better start embracing it, or we're going to face our life fighting against the inevitable.

The bittersweet taste of aging

Age. It's the bittersweet truth we all have to face no matter what our belief system is. Regardless of whether we believe in life after death, the fact is, we all get old. And it never stops.

I have been thinking a lot about age lately for a few reasons:

1) I turned 25 last year and am getting ready to turn 26- Yes, I know anyone older than me is groaning very loudly. But, 25 is a big deal. I think it's the point in every person's life when they say "wow, I am really an adult now. I have lived a quarter of my life, if not more, and what have I done with all that time?" At least, I know that is how I feel. It makes me think about where I am and where I should be. But, I guess I can't go back now and I have got to make the best of where I am and try to grow and succeed from that starting point.

2) I have always related to people a bit beyond my age- I don't know why this is, except maybe because my parents were in their 40s when I was born and my closest sibling was 6 years older than me. I have always found it hard to relate to people my own age or younger on a deep level. Not that I don't have good relationships with either age difference, but it's not the same as the connection I tend to have with someone a bit beyond me. Especially, members of the opposite sex. My first boyfriend was eight years older than me, my brother 11 years older to the day, my closest friends probably range from two years to eight years in seniority and my husband is one and a half years older (which yes, I know isn't much, but it still counts). Probably some psychologist out there could twist this to say I have some sort of complex or problem, but regardless, I just like older people a lot.

3) Things I couldn't relate to or understand five years ago reach me on a deep intellectual level- A lot of times I love this about being older! Love songs make sense, story lines in books make sense and the reasons behind an individual's actions make sense. Examples: When I hear the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack I understand it's more than some creepy guy who tries to steal away the main character from her prince charming. I understand why some people's marriages don't last forever. When I watch any film relating to a parent losing a child, I cry to the point where it's hard to stop. It's amazing to be able to relate to emotions shared in our world. I love it, but sometimes, like when I relate to Memory from Cats, it gets to be a bit depressing.

4) I know who more public figures are who die- At this year's Oscars I was shocked at how many well known people had died this year. Then, a friend leaned over to me and said, "That's how you know you are getting old." Unfortunately, she's right. I doubt a 10 year old even knows who Shirley Temple Black was, unless their parents are awesome. Five years ago, I had no idea what a loss Phillip Seymour Hoffman would be to the acting world. Pretty soon (since I am a movie buff) I will probably know them all.

Regardless of where we are, we need to live life to the fullest. Who knows? Not to be cliche, but tomorrow you could die in a car accident, of a heart attack or you could lose the use of your limbs.

Not to be dramatic, or to tell people to live life in fear, but to cherish what you have. I have to tell myself that often sometimes. But, sometimes, what you have isn't so bad and it's important to realize that before it's gone.

Naivety, a thing of the past

Overall in our society, being naive is generally spoken of with a negative connotation.

-That person was naive and were financially taken to the cleaners
-A naive woman didn't realize "men only have one thing on the brain" and was taken "advantage" of
-A person in love in naive to think that love can conquer all
-A naive person lacks experience, knowledge, is not sophisticated and overall just doesn't know what they are doing.

I grew up in a very religious based home, but a strong education-based household. There were no questions about whether I would go to college or not because my father was a college professor, my mother a high school English teacher.

Except for the rare item, I believed that people were 100 percent good, but people make mistakes. It's sad to say, my outlook there has changed.

As a journalist I've seen too many stories of unexplained horror such as murder, child abuse, terrible accidents and just blatant disregard for the feelings of others to just believe these are all good people who make the occasional mistake. Basically, now, I do believe that there are just plain bad people, whether they were born that way or conditioned.

Have I lost faith in humanity? Not by a long shot. I can't even count how many times I have seen the good of people. Some examples: A community coming together to morn the loss of a murdered child, animal rescues, and a married couple that proves the theory that true love can exist and last forever.

I will say though that sometimes I wish I could go back to my days of naivety, turn back the clock and close my eyes through parts of it. I wish I could cuddle up to my son without the fear that he could one day walk out that door and never come back. I wish I could believe that I, 100 percent, understand the meaning of life.

I do think keeping certain aspects of naivety is important. I can see the way I treat people change the less naive I become. So, even through the array of blindfolds coming off, remember to sometimes try to keep them on part way when it comes to how you treat people.

That said, personal growth is a good thing, but maybe taking it one step at a time is better than ripping the band aid off at once.

Oscar Predictions 2014

If you are coming to my complex on Sunday, turn around now you big cheats and don't go any further!!!

Some get into the Super Bowl, some get into the Olympics, but I get into awards season. I know it seems a little vapid and unimportant to some, but I think it's a load of fun.

You get to dress up nice if you want, you can make a nice dinner and get together with friends. Plus, you are talking about movies, so what do you have to lose? (assuming you have seen at least some of them.)

I am in the middle of preparing for the big event, so here are my winning predictions and the reasons behind them (at least for the big ones). You can all laugh after the show is over. Yes, if I have time I will be live tweeting because I am a nerd like that. So, sit tight folks, this is going to be a long one.

Best Picture- 12 Years a Slave
I really think this is a no-brainer win. The others that I have seen were good, but 12 Years A Slave also won the Golden Globes for a drama, so I think it's got a pretty darn good shot. Plus dramas seem to go farther at the Oscars than comedies do, so American Hustle, which won at the Golden Globes for best comedy will fall short. Regardless of the fact that 12 Years is kind of slow moving, it is moving. You walk out of the theater changed which I think it the big sign of a good film.

I have no idea why American Hustle or the Wolf of Wall Street was even nominated. They were both terrible.

Best Actor in a Leading Role- Matthew McConaughey
Why? Well, I haven't seen the movie, but both SAG and the Golden Globes seemed to think it was worth it, so I doubt he will be passed up. Even though I really do think that Chiwetel Ejiofor deserves it more. But, I don't think anyone will forget what he did. I think he will have his opportunity again. McConaughey may not if he goes back to chick flicks, which deep down, I hope he does.

Best Actress in a Leading Role- Cate Blanchett
I have not seen Blue Jasmine, but she was recognized at both the SAG awards and the Globes, so I think she's got a really good shot. She is a fantastic actress and I believe it's time she had more lime light thrust her way.

Judi Dench and Meryl Streep are both really good contenders because of their extensive skills, but they have both won so many, I think it's time for them to step back. Sometimes I think those two get nominated, because if they aren't, it would be considered offensive.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role- Jared Leto
Again, recognition at both recent awards leads me to believe Oscar is in Leto's future. Plus he had his super hot teenage phase and got past it somewhat normal, got a load of crappy roles in the past and was fat for a long time. It's time he was golden. Anyone who can gain or lose that much for a role at some point during his career, deserves something at some point!

Best Actress in a Supporting Role- Lupita Nyong'o 
The Globes passed her up, but the SAG awards didn't. Good for them. Let's hope the academy won't either and that they will see though the holograph that is Jennifer Lawrence and see what I saw. An incredible actress that moved me to tears. Lawrence is good, but her year was in Silver Linings last year. American Hustle's performance falls far behind.

Animated Feature Film- Frozen
Again, a guaranteed winner. If it doesn't, it's just for shock or strange artistic value. Frozen has been a top box office seller for a good chunk of 13-14. Plus the music is great, no matter how overdone covers have been on it. It can relate to anyone, trust me.

Cinematography- Gravity
Costume Design- The Great Gatsby
Directing- Alfonso Cuaron
Documentary Feature- The Act of Killing
Documentary Short Subject- The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My life
Film Editing- 12 Years a Slave
Foreign Language Film- The Great Beauty
Hair styling and Makeup- Dallas Buyers Club
Music, Original Score- Saving Mr. Banks
Music- Original Song- Ordinary Love from Mandela, a long walk to freedom
Production Design- The Great Gatsby
Short Film Animated- Feral 
Short Film Live Action- Helium
Sound Editing- Gravity
Sound Mixing- Captain Phillips
Visual Effects- The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Adapted Screenplay- Philomena
Original Screenplay- Her

Inspiration: Priceless?

I don't know if more people really are thinking about their health, or if technology has just made us think there are. Either way, whatever motivates people can't be a bad thing, right? 

I don't know how many of you have heard of Arthur Boorman , but I have to say, his video is pretty inspirational. However, it's being used to sell a product. 

I have seen lots of other weight loss "inspirational" motivators in my time including #giveit100, The good old Tae Bo videos and many others. 

Many of my friends have even taken up their own Facebook pages to help motivate people, which I think sends two messages 1) That they want to inspire others 2) That they think they are the new and hottest thing out there. 

Honestly, good for you, but I am not going to "like" your page. This doesn't mean I don't support your awesome transformation, but that doesn't mean I want to see your random success posts on my news feed all the time. Facebook's news feed is already filled with too much crap as is, these days. 

I do say that regardless of the motives behind all these videos and pages, it's still a good motivator for some. When you are trying to loose weight, as I speak from experience, it is nice to have more inspiration than just one source. It helps you keep trying, instead of just giving up. 

In a stressful world, sometimes it seems easier to give up than to keep going. And I know, that even though I am not buying DDP Yoga, that I still thought "If Arthur can do it, so can I." Regardless of whether I do it with his sales pitch or not. 

Just be careful when being inspired. Be inspired to motivate yourself to meet your own goals and not someone else's. 

The eternal debate: Is print dying?

An obvious answer you would hope to hear from a journalist: No. The answer you might hear from the general population nowadays might be a little murkier.

Honestly, there have been a lot of adaptations for journalists as well as businesses all over the country when we talk about multimedia including photos, social media, videos and the world wide web. But I think it all comes down to the consumers you have.

In my world, I have basically figured there are three types of news consumers.

1. People who love digital and hate having a paper copy of anything
2. People who read both, whether they choose digital first or paper first
3. People who only read the paper and are not on the WWW

The reason print isn't dead yet: People love to hold something in their hands, and they like the way it looks. A lot of people feel like they look at the screen enough and don't want to read on the computer any more than they have to already. Plus they can hang it on the refrigerator.

The reason people love digital: It's the speed at which is can be received and often free information though social media or similar means. You must love it, or you wouldn't be reading my blog right now. I could go on and on about my love for digital media, but, I'd just be preaching to the choir.

Personally, here are my thoughts on digital verses print: We will at some point switch to a completely digital age, in fact, we are on the way now.

People are buying movies for digital streaming, they are reading the news via twitter and they are shopping online because it is convenient.

I like to view the design of a newspaper, but I like to view it in digital newspaper format where it's no mess and no fuss. I appreciate the original look of a paper, but I don't like having my hand covered with news print stains and somehow when I have paper copies, I never get around to reading them.

Somehow, it seems easier to just look it up on my computer, since I am on it half the day anyways for work. Of course, being in the news business, and having a very digital based job, I can see where I am probably on my computer 10x more than someone who works at a car dealership, someone who is a construction worker, or something along those lines.

So, whether you are a print media consumer or a digital consumer, either way I am glad you read the news and try to stay informed in one way or another.

Now to people who think they can ignore the shift, well you are just being naive. Eventually digital will reign over print, in fact, that day and age is basically upon us. You can either sink or swim in this digital sea which relates to all industries including education, sales or even being an informed stay at home mom. So, embrace it, or be left out in the ocean without a raft. It's up to you, but sooner or later your arms are going to get tired. I am betting on sooner.

Springfield tragedy brings caution to mind

For the last 24 hours my social media pages as well as local television stations have been flooded with the story of Hailey Owens, a girl who was abducted and murdered her right here in the heartland of America on Tuesday night.

It's a sad story and I know many Springfield area residents (myself included) are saddened and almost shocked by the idea that this can happen so close to home.

I reminds me though, that even over the fact that I believe most people are generally good, there are a lot of terrible people out there who would hurt something as pure and as beautiful as a young, innocent child.

I think overall that Christians are very trusting people, sometimes too trusting. I don't know if Owen's family was religious or not, and I am of course, not putting any blame on the family. But, I think in general that as Missourians we are primarily mid-western Christians and that overall, Missourians  are probably too trusting in people. Of course, I have also seen the opposite. But, I know many people who don't lock their cars because they grew up on a farm in mid-Missouri and don't think anyone would steal from them, or people who allow their kids to play outdoors without supervision.

I think this little girl's life lost will serve as a reminder that life is precious and that sometimes, if you let your guard down, someone can snatch everything good and sacred in your life away from you.

So, basically, live life to the fullest and for goodness sake, lock your doors and watch your children like a hawk. I know I will be for the rest of my son's lifetime.

Valentine's Day....one of earth's silliest and frivolous holidays

I bet by reading the title you believe I am single. Am I right? Well guess what, I will not be celebrating Single's Awareness Day, I like getting flowers from my husband as much as the next girl and I still think it's kind of a dumb holiday.

Why? It's simple. If you are married you should live your life tied to the person you love every day. You should show them you love them with little gestures of romance often, not just on anniversaries and a fake holiday designed to make you pay for chocolates, flowers and lingerie.

If you are single, well it's just a day like all the rest of them, minus the fact that attached people like rubbing your face in all the love and saying "oh look how sweet my lover is for sending me flowers at work." Too bad for you....

I am a big social media nut, but today will I post about how wonderful my spouse is? Will I post pictures of the flowers he gave me? Or a post saying thanks for dinner honey? No. For the exact reasons I've stated above.

Do I love my husband? Of course. Am I grateful for the things he does for me and I do for him on Valentine's Day? Of course. But, I am not going to support a holiday that teaches men that flowers are only necessary once or maybe twice a year? Am I going to support a holiday where kids make valentine's only for their friends and the other kids in their class because they are told they have to? No.

Everything I do comes from the heart. I have learned that if I do anything otherwise, I kind of start to go crazy. Trust me, it's been happening a lot lately.

So take it from me, love the way you want to love and not the way the media, calendar or Hallmark card tells you that you should.

The Olympics, the REALLY LONG version of the Super Bowl

Let me start by saying I am not a huge fan of the Olympics. Yes, I know I am getting griped about as you read. I have also never been a huge fan of the Super Bowl, except for the fact that it means friends and food.

Part of the reason for the lack of fandom is because neither one was a big event at my house. We never watched the Super Bowl and we only watched a few of the events as the super bowl, all of which were figure skating.

I get that great athletes compete at these events, athletes who have spent a lifetime trying to get where they are now. However, that doesn't mean I like to spend every week night watching bob sledding or skating, even though I am probably the only one.

I much rather watch dramatic or comedy tv shows and escape to a fantasy land. Maybe part of that is because I cover sports as part of my job these days. Sports has become work, rather than just voluntary fun.

I do enjoy covering games as a journalist and especially trying to get that one picture that sums up the emotions of the sport, all in one shot. But, I think it's like people who paint for a living or people who watch movies for a living. It's just no longer that thing you do to relax and has become a mandatory part of life.

I rather not watch a week-long version of the Super Bowl, and if that means I am out of touch when people are talking about last night's winner, well, so be it.

But if you invite me over for some food and give me a chance to visit with a friend, well count me in, sports or not.

Religion, marriage and rapping?

I am all about originality. But, people, a rap about marriage? Come on! It's just too much for me.

Marriage Rap Video can be viewed here

I believe in a lot of things about marriage based on my own experience from 5 years and 3 months of being married.

1) It's not always easy
2) The belief that marriage is forever is very important to making a union last.
3) Every marriage can be a beautiful and sacred thing, whether you are religious or not. However, religion can be something that binds you.

The reason that many believe that religion is the most important thing in marriage is because it can be a huge argument issue, if it's important to one spouse but not the other. But, I do know that you don't always have to have the same thoughts on religion.

My mother and father have been married for 26 years, both of which went through a divorce prior to meeting each other. My mother's marriage was based on religion, but it didn't work (for multiple reasons, which I think are not my story to tell).

When my parents got married he was Methodist, she a Latter-Day Saint (aka Mormon). It still worked. Why? Because they loved each other and they both knew that the other partner would do anything they could to make it work. They respected each other, even though at times they haven't always agreed on certain issues.

Now, this rap I speak of, is totally ridiculous. I have seen people say "It's the marriage video each young couple should watch before saying 'I Do,'" and things like "It's powerful," and "It's beautiful."

I have always been one to believe that religion needs to be sacred. If you believe God is real and that he is a Holy being who should be treated with respect and love, well, then rap isn't the way to do it.

No offense to all you rap lovers out there, but to me, it has always represented either something inappropriate or something comical. Neither one of those emotions fit with religion if you are religious.

In addition, the video is basically saying that no marriage can survive without God. I wouldn't have met my husband without my religion and I wouldn't be where I am today. That doesn't mean that I should invalidate someone's marriage because that's not how they found their "happily ever after."

So please, don't waste you time sharing this "crap rap." It's nothing but disrespectful towards the religious and non-religious alike. Unless maybe rap is the only thing that speaks to you, and then, you need to "branch out," as my dad always said.

*Editors Note- My dad did join the Mormon Church 2 years ago. 

If my life was a Super Bowl....

Tonight's Super Bowl was well, let me put it this way: I almost fell asleep.

I really don't have any football allegiances, at least not in the pros. All I wanted was to watch a close game and feel smart, now that I cover high school football on occasion. Instead, I just stuffed myself and chased my child around my friends' apartment. The sad part is, I didn't feel like I was missing thing. 

I started wondering, what would my life be like in Super Bowl terms? 

I don't know if I would win or lose, which i guess none of us really do until the game of life is over. 

However I would like to say I've made a few touchdowns:

-Graduating HS

-Experiencing that "first love"

-Graduating college

- Getting Married

- Having a kid

-Getting a Job in my career field

I also know I have experienced a few turnarounds and fumbles:

-experiencing that "first love" (ha ha, good and bad)

-having debt at one point or another

- hurting someone I care about because of bad judgement

-jumping into something too quickly

I am sure I have left out both fumbled and touchdowns. No matter what life has been like for any individual, try to sit down and think about your touchdowns. I betcha they outweigh the fumbles almost every time. 

When is lazy too lazy?

When I was a kid I got tired of hearing my elders say "kids these days are too lazy," or something along those lines. I was offended that someone was calling me lazy before I even had figured out who I was and what I was going to do with my life.

Now that I am a bit older I have had a bit more experience in the lazy department. I understand the concept of working so hard during the day that you don't feel like doing the dishes, or why you might want to play the sick day card.

But when does being lazy just get to be too much?

I, am of course, no expert. Laziness is of course in the eye of the beholder, but I draw the line when your laziness starts to affect someone else in a negative way.

For example, I don't feel like cleaning my sons bedroom or forcing him to do so as he is a two-year old. When Lincoln Logs litter the floor, sometimes you just feel like pushing them out of the way with your foot, or sweeping them under the bed. But, what happens when he grows up? Does he know what it means to really clean if you don't show him?

I know an individual who doesn't know how to cook, she doesn't really know how to clean. When she was shown how to mop the floor her response was, "no one ever showed me how to do that before."

The sad part is, it's probably true.

In my job, and in life, I have seen too many people who are only a product of what they are raised into. It seems almost impossible for them to break the cycle that they learned from irresponsible parenting, or lack there of.

No, I am not saying that I am a perfect parent (because I am definitely not), or that I have been motivated to clean those Lincon Logs out from under the bed quite yet. What I am saying is that laziness becomes unacceptable when it hurts someone else, no matter how small.

Now, excuse me while I go take my own advice.

High school duds, lifelong stars

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my buddies from the olden days. Maybe it's because I am reminiscing, or maybe because I feel like at 25, my life is slowly slipping away (yes, I can see anyone older than me rolling there eyes here).

In high school I don't really know what people thought of me, and I can't say that I even care now. In fact, the fact that I might have cared once, seems very silly and insignificant.

Facebook is one of those things that can connect us, whether that's good or bad. I have to admit that I have Facebook friends who I sometimes keep around for the reason of buffering my ego. Anyone who admits differently is lying, or just a REALLY good person.

However, I have also seen some really cool things about my high school friends. One friend, who had things pretty good in high school, married her high school sweetheart (who we all gave her crap about at the time she was dating him), and now she is about to have her first child.

I recall another to have had a hard time fitting in. He never felt like things would just be right with him in the world and now, graduated from college, he lives halfway across the country and is making his dream job a reality.

It makes me think about myself a bit. I may not care now what my high school chums think of me, but at the same time, I can't help but wonder, have I made the best of myself? Have a taken every leap that I should have to be in a good place?

I would have to say I haven't done too bad for myself. A great husband, a cute son, a roof over my head and a college degree, which later led to a great job.

ROLLA HIGH CLASS OF 2007, Woo hoo! Go Bulldogs! (Sorry folks, it just felt right to say it loud and proud.)

Following traditions for tradition's sake

First post of 2014! First post for awhile actually. 

I have been thinking a lot lately of people who follow traditions just because it's what they believe they have to do, for tradition's sake. 

Don't think I hate traditions, in fact, I have many I like. 

- I enjoy getting presents on Christmas morning

- I like apple pie and baseball as much as any true American

- I like to clap when someone performs well, as a sign of appreciation and admiration of their work

- I like to make New Year's resolutions

- And Many more...

But, when does it get to a point that we follow traditions that we don't really believe in, just because others before us have followed that path? 

Sure, we shouldn't let the traditions of our fathers die and all that, and sometimes our elders know more than we do. But not always. 

Sometimes I think that many things I have done in my life are because of traditions. Sometimes I think, it's safe to break the rules and test things out. 

For a very light example: I don't like Thanksgiving food much. 

-Turkey is okay and so is Green Bean Casserole

-I hate stuffing, homemade cranberry sauce and yams. 

- I think we need more salad or green vegetables at these things that are doused in creamy soup, fat, or excess butter

- The main things I like are: the appetizers, the rolls and the mashed potatoes (but only with good gravy, giblet doesn't count). 

So, why is it that everyone eats these items? Because it's what their parents fixed, grandparents made and so on...

It's not because we have a deep found belief that if we don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving, we will miss out on the company of our family and forget what we're grateful for. (At least, most people aren't that crazy). 

So, I just think its' important to think about your traditions and why you do them. And maybe, you can't let go of that turkey, even if it is a tradition for tradition's sake. Regardless, it's still important to think about it and decide if you really like turkey in the first place. 

*Note: If you really think this blog is all about Thanksgiving Food, you need to be more creative*