Thursday, July 3, 2014

Staying connected or getting cut off?

I've been thinking a lot about social media, because as a journalist, it's a HUGE part of my job and thus, part of my life. I love a lot of things about it, but is it really connecting people more, or just cutting us off from the real world?

I can give several examples of each:

CONNECTING PEOPLE

Far Away, Yet Close Together-  My family doesn't get to travel a lot. We both have jobs that keep us extremely busy and we never seem to have money growing on trees (which makes sense, because according to most of my elders, it doesn't). So, we don't spend the money and we don't often take off long enough to go the places we would want to go.

Because of this, it's hard to see cousins, siblings etc. So I feel connected when I see photos of my cousin's twin daughters or when I hear the day to day status updates from my aunt.

I never see my best pals who live all the way across the country, but yet, when I turn to the internet, the best of conversations can be had. It's about as close to face to face interaction with those I may not see again, or for a really long time.

Internet Will Tell What They Won't- I find it so interesting that some of my friends are mostly introverted, yet telling something to the void is okay. Even those who aren't, will tell sad news or something totally unexpected on their Facebook status. I guess they feel they can get it all over in one go, instead of having to tell everyone.

Some examples include
-coming out of the closet
-a death in the family
-miscarriage
-things they don't like about people, but would never tell that person to their face
- when they are pregnant

Find things you would never have found on your own- I love Twitter and Pinterest for a lot of reasons. The biggest one is because you can find news articles you wouldn't have once come across, you find recipes, your friend's plans for her wedding gown or a joke your friend might not have told you face to face.

CUTTING US OFF

The unimportant seems important- It's easy to get caught in this trap if you are even remotely an emotional person. All social media has a way of making you think something unimportant is a sign of a dying friendship or someone insulting you. I can't share the names of the people in these situations, but let me give you a few examples of stupid fights/problems that start because of social media.

Person 1: Did you see this link I posted?
Person 2: No I didn't.
1: Oh, (sounding disappointed) I posted it because I wanted you to see it.
2: (Awkwardly) Umm....sorry.

Person 3 (in private message): Why did you unfriend me? I am sorry if I did anything to offend you. I don't understand because I really enjoy seeing your posts.
Person 4: (awkwardly lying) I don't know, it must have been a Facebook glitch. I didn't unfriend you, because I would never do that.

Status Update: I have some friends that have not been good friends at all lately. I guess I know who my true friends are.

Status Update: Let's see how many people repost this: If you are really my friend, just say one word, ONLY ONE WORD about how we first met.

Situation: Someone you thought was your best friend or was a family member forgets your birthday, you know they probably just didn't see it or get on Facebook that day. But, you still think they should have remembered you. Who cares if they have 10,000 friends? What about you?

Situation: You write a message and you know they read it because the message box shows a check mark and says "seen." Why wouldn't they reply to you, isn't your message more important than whatever they were doing?

Love doesn't just "happen"- When Harry Met Sally would never happen today. Too bad, because it's a great movie. In a nutshell Harry and Sally Meet in college and run into each other a couple time in New York and by the time they are in their 30s they realize that they are meant to be. They kiss at midnight on New Year's and the rest is history.

That never happens now. EVER. First of all, it's a movie. But, it really probably wouldn't happen now because we all have Facebook or LinkedIn or Twitter. If that film took place today it would suck. Synopsis: Harry and Sally share the ride to NY from CA. They kind of have a spark, but they say goodbye and go their separate ways. Since Harry wants to sleep with her he friends her on FB. He stalks her for years and knows everything about her. Then when they bump into each other again they don't know what to talk about because they already know everything about each other. The End.

Now, again this being a movie, in real life perspective, people who date don't have to ask each other as many questions, which is a large part of dating fun and intrigue. I am a big fan of letting things happen naturally, but in this age, natural isn't really natural anymore.

Friendships don't take as much work-  Why would I bother going to lunch with a pal when I read all her thoughts on Facebook? I don't need to ask about my friend's relationships, because Facebook already tells me when they are in one. I don't need to keep a list of my friends birthdays, because Facebook will remind me. The list goes on and on and on.

I could probably rant for another 10 pages but my post is already too long. Overall I think social media is digging us in a hole we will probably never escape. But, am I going to stop using it? Probably not.