Grey colored glasses are going out of style

I saw a meme on Facebook a few days ago that made me laugh. (Even though I hate memes with a passion) This year is going to be the year everyone was offended by everything. It's so true! Apparently, no one believes in the color grey anymore. 

I was taught growing up, through church, that there are not any grey areas. Everything is black or white. I think adults said this, misinterpreting what it actually meant. I do believe everything is black or white in terms of God's law, which has been set forth since before the beginning of earth. You either choose to follow the 10 Commandments, or you don't. 

However, when it comes to social and political issues, there are grey areas. Unfortunately, no one seems to believe that any more. You either support gays or you don't. You're either Christian or your not. You are conservative or liberal. You are racist, or you're not. You're going to allow in refugees or you're a hateful bigot. 

I wish some people would stop thinking that Republicans are hateful, rich, hypocritical bigots and that Democrats are liberal hippies who have no sense of reality.  

Gay Marriage : I'm for it. 

Personally: I don't believe homosexuality is natural by God's standard. I do believe true marriage is ONLY between a man and a woman. 

Politically: I do believe all men/women have the right to love whoever they want, and be married if they so choose. After all, this is a free country, and isn't it the Bible that talked about free will? No politician, or Christian, has the right to tell someone they can't marry the love of their life. 

Abortion: I'm against it. 

Personally and Politically: I am a mother by choice. I made the decision to procreate. Most women did too, otherwise they could have practiced abstinence. When you have sex, you take the risk. (Protected or not, as protection is not 100% effective.) If you were raped, you can still put the child up for adoption. That child could be a great scientist, someone who creates beautiful art. Either way, the fetus is the formation of a living child. To toss it out, is to devalue life. Using politics to rid yourself of what you consider your shame, embarrassment and a mistake is pathetic. What if your parents had aborted you? 

Refugees: I am against the idea of rushing them in here to meet some goal President Obama's administration has set. 

Personally: There are children out there. There have been a lot of amazing people come to America who were refugees, who changed the U.S. forever in a positive way. This included actors to scientists. I believe in helping all people from ALL races, faiths and walks of life. They NEED our help. I would love to see those children  sleeping in a safe, warm bed; instead of in the streets. What if that was my son? What if that was my husband? What if it was me? I want to feed the hungry, clothe the naked and support the poor, like most actual Christians. We believe in helping those in need, as quickly as possible. The U.S. has already helped 2,200 refugees. That's pretty amazing. Good for us, but yes, there are MANY more to help. Our work is not done.   

Politically: It doesn't make sense. The vetting process takes MORE THAN A YEAR at best. Even then, there are refugees who don't have enough background information available for the United Nations to vet them properly. I mean, heck, one of the terrorists who attacked Paris made it through a refugee processing center. If President Obama talks congress into letting in refugees too quickly, we as Americans, could be responsible for another 9-11. Yes, I am scared. Anyone who isn't, is fooling themselves. To rush this process could, and most likely would, be extremely dangerous. To allow 10,000 refugees in by the end of the year (President Obama's goal) would require the vetting process to be sped up. Then, by 2017 he wants to be letting in 100,000 a year. Now that is not only a dangerous risk, it's also unrealistic.

When it comes to equality, complication is to be expected.

I'm ALL about equality. That said, this whole thing on the Mizzou campus is insane. That I think we can all agree on.
For the protesters side:
1. I have no idea what it's like to be in the African American minority. To say they are making it up or dramatizing in would be very presumptuous. Especially when the only thing I know about it, I've read on the news.
2. Many say these so called "incidents" probably never happened. I was a journalist once and still am at heart. I know how this works. Documentation may have existed once and disappeared, or it may never have existed at all on purpose, if Mizzou truly is a racist campus.
For the "this is based on lies" side:
1. Obviously the protesters haven't handled this the right way and many may have rushed to social media without being 100% sure on what they were posting.
2. It's not right that the president and maybe others will or have lost their jobs. They worked hard to get there. I don't believe one person's decisions can stamp out inequality (especially on a college campus.)
3. I am sure the campus has tried many things to battle racism and equality issues from diversity training, to more scholarships and job opportunities for African Americans, proud support of Michael Sam and allowing groups like the protesters to form on the MU campus.
4. The university cannot prevent all incidents. To believe it (or one person) can, is just insane. There are so many things that happen on a campus daily. There is no way the campus police or administration can find, report and battle them all.
*For those writing idiotic commentaries online:
Who cares if Johnathon Butler's dad is rich? That's the only detail I've seen. I haven't seen proof that this Eric Butler is his father. I haven't seen proof that he lived with his father and benefited from this man's money. I haven't seen anything demonstrating that he had every advantage.
Maybe his father didn't pay for his education. Maybe his dad doesn't pay for his healthcare. My parents have helped me a lot in the financial department. That said, they aren't rich, and they don't pay for all my expenses. They helped when I was in college, but I was a lucky one. I know many people whose parents say, "sorry kid you are on your own," or "I'm still going to raise my child without spending too much on them. They need to learn to work for everything themselves." (A good lesson to teach in my opinion.)
Even if he did have all these privileges, it doesn't mean he hasn't had to endure racism. That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

I could write a million things about this, but I think I'm done.

The great divorce debate

I've recently read several articles stating the divorce rate is actually way lower than 50 percent, which was previously believed by researchers.
The worst by far, was one about how Christians get divorced less than those who aren't Christians. 
The divorce rate could be lower than 50 percent in general. I have no clue to be honest, other than what is reported in various news outlets. However, the last three bullet points in this "research article" which really bother me, are:
-Most marriages are happy.
-Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems.
-Most remarriages succeed.
The first bullet point is the most unrealistic. What measures a happy marriage? 1. Just because people don't get divorced, doesn't mean a marriage is "happy." 2. A lot of people convince themselves they are happy, even though they really aren't. They don't want to give up the dream. I doubt many have even admitted to themselves their marriage is unhappy, let alone claimed it's unhappy on a survey. 3. I don't believe you can even classify a marriage as "happy" or "unhappy." All marriages have good and bad days. Unless, you are in an abusive relationship, your spouse is cheating on you or something along those lines. Then you should get out ASAP.
To the second bullet point, at least the "reporter" said most marriage problems require a simple change. There are lots that don't. If you have a cheating spouse, that's not a simple fix. If you have an abusive spouse (verbally or physically), that's not an easy fix. If you fight about money 75 percent of the time, that is NOT an easy fix. It is not easy to change one's nature, even though it may sound easier than it is. Both my husband and I have flaws. To me, my flaws are not easy to fix. To him, his flaws are not easy to fix. Easy from an outside view, maybe? To those in the marriage, each problem is complicated and not easy. Working together and excepting each others flaws though, can make it easier.
Most remarriages succeed? First of all, when a person gets married the second time, or when two people remarry each other again? Either could be true, but I don't believe there is any accurate way to fully track the data.
It just goes to show many people read the headline and don't really think through the content and pick it apart before posting. Goodbye critical thinking. I guess you are a thing of the past to many people.

My view, from the big 27

There's a point in everyone's life when they realize birthdays have become a little less exciting. Your 25 presents you used to get turn to single digits, you realize you are seriously getting older and it becomes a regular day where, if you a responsible adult, you still have to go to work.
It may sound sad, but one of the things I have grown accustomed to is seeing who tells me happy birthday on Facebook. I get a little smile usually, thinking of how I met the person who goes out of their way to say it. It also reminds me of all the old friends I have from various stages of life.
I think the most amazing thing is to see the diversity of people I have come in contact with over the last 27 years. This year (and the day is not yet over) I have had birthday wishes from so many people, I lost count. People wishing me the best ranged from my childhood piano teacher to newspaper reporters. I even had a happy birthday from an elementary school principal, a college theater professor and my previous land lord.
It's amazing to see the friends I have accumulated so far. It's an amazing world of technology that keeps us all connected, even if in the smallest of ways.
Thanks for the birthday wishes and here's to over 27 more!

The Best and Worst of Facebook: Gay Marriage

I held back on my Facebook posts the past couple days. Why? I was just so consumed with reading the thoughts of others.
I strongly believe real marriage is ordained of God and is between a man and a woman. I also feel very seriously about the separation of church and state. I believe people have this thing called free agency, which gives all people the right to choose to live the way they believe is right.
That said, if the government wants to recognize gay marriage, it's within the government's right to do so. America also has freedom of religion, so I also have the right to my own beliefs.
All in all, I am truly happy for those who are happier because of the Supreme Court's decision.
Here's what I took away from Facebook this week, the best and the worst posts.
Best: 
1. Posts about showing respect and compassion to all, regardless of their beliefs or opinions on gay marriage. Christ taught to love, so we must continue to show love to one another. (I had several people post things along those lines, but I can't seem to find them all now.)
2. "What a wonderful day. I know this ruling doesn't make everything perfect, and that there are still a great many good people in this country who disagree with the fact that I can now marry who my heart chooses and my head decides, but I'm trying to set that aside for the moment and let all the joy at how this ruling legitimizes my life and the lives of gay people all over this country dance through my veins. It's nice to feel legit." (a friend of a friend posted this and I think everyone should feel legit.)
3. I am about 100 percent sure Obama isn't going to revoke religious freedom. It would cause a civil war. However, it's still an interesting question about how churches will be treated in choosing whether to marry a gay couple or not. 
4. Comments about how the news today is often sad, but how the story of the Supreme Court ruling gives many hope.
5. The photo of an actual rainbow over Springfield the day after the Supreme Court's decision. No matter what you believe, coincidence or sign, it's still kind of cool.
Worst:
1. Conservative side: Keep your comments to yourself if you disagree with me. Liberal side: If you don't agree with the Supreme Court you can unfriend me. This just shows ignorance and intolerance of the beliefs and thoughts of others. It makes it pretty clear people posting these things don't want anything to do with anyone different than themselves. That's pretty sad.
2. The pastor who promised to set himself on fire if gay marriage passed. Because we all know he followed through with that...
3. People who are posting anything comparing gay marriage to love between humans and animals, cars and humans or other inanimate objects. It's worse than people acting like animals are people. Now you're comparing people to animals. That is inhumane and uncaring.
5. All the rainbow photos. Enough is enough. Turning your photo, or worse, making the White House look like a rainbow is ridiculous. Doing this for one day, maybe, but doing it for multiple is over the top.

Scientists are all the beholders and we are all pawns

So Business Insider thinks scientific research shows what makes a woman more attractive and what makes a man more attractive.

My first thought was, why is business insider wasting its time on this junk? My second thought was, how does Business Insider, or any other entity or person for that matter, think they can nail down what make a person attractive or not?

Some of the points on both sides could or might not be true, but hasn't Business Insider heard that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" I know my husband and I joke around about attractive or unattractive actors. He will often say "That's so werid. That guy is not at all attractive."

Sure, physical attraction is important. It's what makes someone want to take a chance on a date to begin with and it's a big part of what keeps a relationship alive. That said, it's not the only thing.
All the people that I have all found seriously attractive have a few things in common. It wasn't all based on physical appearance.

1. Each guy made me feel important. The individual was interested in everything I had to say, or at least pretended they did. :)

2. All had a stroke of kindness in one way, shape or form. It might have been that I saw them open the door for someone on more than one occasion, they showed compassion for their fellow man or woman by expressing interest in a social issue or they went out of their way to serve others.

3. Each one made me feel like I wanted to be a better person. It could be they made me want to be more educated, more physically fit or just all in all, a more compassionate person.

All those factors made their smiles cuter, made their eyes more attractive or made me want to spend time with them more.

Maybe it's just me, but I think personality makes a huge difference on the outward appearance of a person.

Of course, I could be wrong and it could have more to do with facial hair, less makeup and a 7;10 waist ratio.

News isn't the news you grew up with

I've been reading a lot of newspapers lately, now that my business is more print than ever before. The news you read in newspapers isn't what it used to be, and if it is, the paper may not be in business for long.

For small town papers, things are in some ways a little slower at changing. People still want to see the cute photos of the kids at the local elementary school, hear all the news from city council or know their neighbor made the dean's list in a traditional format. However, in the bigger cities/large towns, things are a bit tougher I think.

Newspapers are now competing with not just TV and Internet in general, but social media. I can tell you from a first person point of view that's true. My generation, some older than me and all the generations below me are falling more and more into this trend.

If it wasn't for my job, I wouldn't read the actual physical newspaper. Maybe I shouldn't say that, but it's true. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying newspapers aren't relevant, because they are. Our local government, schools etc. will always be relevant. That means we need local media in some form. However people more and more are going straight to the web. I like digital newspapers with the same design, but without all the black ink getting all over my hands.

I am a big subscriber to the idea that I can get on Facebook or Twitter and pick out what interests me most. The "marketplace of ideas." I see it and pick what I want. That may sound crazy, but really, even paper readers have been doing this a long time. We may look at the photos or a story or two we want, but most of us don't read the newspaper cover to cover.

That's why I think a lot of larger city papers have stories such as who the highest paid NBA player is, the controversy behind a bill proposed at city council or a deeper look into the local criminal justice system in a column style format. I much rather read about who the highest paid NBA player is than read a story which says "at city council Monday, the board voted to allow people to walk their dogs in the park." It would be more entertaining to read "Dogs in the Park? City workers will spend more time cleaning up after dogs than fixing your roads." Of course that's an exaggeration, but you get the idea.

News is becoming more and more entertainment. Is that to the detriment of society? Honestly, probably. But, I am not one to oppose it, as I am as guilty as all the other readers out there. It's the business. Yes, newspapers are a service, but they are also a business. Right now I guess we're in the business of informative entertainment.