Since I can remember I haven't liked change. I don't like getting rid of memorabilia, I don't like leaving the familiar and I don't like seeing people I care about move away.
I think I get a lot of that resistance to change from my father.(Sorry dad!) To give you an example, he likes to collect and keep things like I do, although I believe that each generation is not as bad as the last. My grandfather is a terrible hoarder and my dad a semi-terrible hoarder, which means I must just be a hoarder? In addition to that, my father hasn't shaved off his beard since the 70s. I think he's had a beard so long, that he is afraid to see what he looks like after all these years.
We all fear change to a certain extent. I read up on a Harvard article on why people resist change. I have come to the conclusion that I am a textbook case.
1. Loss of Control- I know I feel this all the time. I don't like to be out of control in my own life. I like to know things are in order and in the place they belong as well as the fact that I can control what I do in the day. I want to keep things the same, unless there is a really good reason to change it up. As they say, if it isn't broke, don't fix it.
2. Excess Uncertainty- I think this is why my dad won't shave his beard, regardless of all my requests and ranting about it. He is afraid he will look older without it, people will see his scars from teenage acne, or that people won't think he looks good.
3. Surprise, Surprise!- I like surprise parties, but I don't like surprise visitors. I want my house clean before people come. I like to plan for vacations in advance and I don't like being rushed out the door for a surprise trip.
4. Everything seems different- "We are creatures of Routine," well isn't that the truth! I literally do a lot of the same things everyday. I usually watch at least 1-2 movies or tv show episodes a day, I go on a walk/run for three miles, I get a shower, I take care of my kid, I eat meals, I work and I go to bed. I think we all do this, with a few alterations here and there.
5. Loss of Face- I do worry about how people perceive me, no matter how much I tell myself differently.
6. Concerns about competence- One topic that can describe this all. Most senior citizens and new technology.
7. More work- I won't lie, when change might mean more work I am hesitant if not at sometimes resistant. If it's really worth it, I will do it, but I don't want more work on my shoulders without a purpose and a goal that is worthwhile.
8. Ripple effects- This one is a major struggle right now. If I make a decision that could possibly change my life, how will it affect those around me? Sometimes I think life was so much simpler back when I was a free agent per say, such as a young kid, or a college age student. I often worry, if I make this decision, how will it affect my husband, my child or even sometimes, my parents.
9. Past resentments- I can't say much to this subject, maybe I just haven't lived long enough.
10. Sometimes the threat is real- This is true sometimes, but the trick is knowing the difference between the real and the imagined. Changing jobs could be real, moving across the country could be real or deciding who or who not to spend your life with.
The fact is change is a part of life, and we better start embracing it, or we're going to face our life fighting against the inevitable.
No comments:
Post a Comment