Age. It's the bittersweet truth we all have to face no matter what our belief system is. Regardless of whether we believe in life after death, the fact is, we all get old. And it never stops.
I have been thinking a lot about age lately for a few reasons:
1) I turned 25 last year and am getting ready to turn 26- Yes, I know anyone older than me is groaning very loudly. But, 25 is a big deal. I think it's the point in every person's life when they say "wow, I am really an adult now. I have lived a quarter of my life, if not more, and what have I done with all that time?" At least, I know that is how I feel. It makes me think about where I am and where I should be. But, I guess I can't go back now and I have got to make the best of where I am and try to grow and succeed from that starting point.
2) I have always related to people a bit beyond my age- I don't know why this is, except maybe because my parents were in their 40s when I was born and my closest sibling was 6 years older than me. I have always found it hard to relate to people my own age or younger on a deep level. Not that I don't have good relationships with either age difference, but it's not the same as the connection I tend to have with someone a bit beyond me. Especially, members of the opposite sex. My first boyfriend was eight years older than me, my brother 11 years older to the day, my closest friends probably range from two years to eight years in seniority and my husband is one and a half years older (which yes, I know isn't much, but it still counts). Probably some psychologist out there could twist this to say I have some sort of complex or problem, but regardless, I just like older people a lot.
3) Things I couldn't relate to or understand five years ago reach me on a deep intellectual level- A lot of times I love this about being older! Love songs make sense, story lines in books make sense and the reasons behind an individual's actions make sense. Examples: When I hear the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack I understand it's more than some creepy guy who tries to steal away the main character from her prince charming. I understand why some people's marriages don't last forever. When I watch any film relating to a parent losing a child, I cry to the point where it's hard to stop. It's amazing to be able to relate to emotions shared in our world. I love it, but sometimes, like when I relate to Memory from Cats, it gets to be a bit depressing.
4) I know who more public figures are who die- At this year's Oscars I was shocked at how many well known people had died this year. Then, a friend leaned over to me and said, "That's how you know you are getting old." Unfortunately, she's right. I doubt a 10 year old even knows who Shirley Temple Black was, unless their parents are awesome. Five years ago, I had no idea what a loss Phillip Seymour Hoffman would be to the acting world. Pretty soon (since I am a movie buff) I will probably know them all.
Regardless of where we are, we need to live life to the fullest. Who knows? Not to be cliche, but tomorrow you could die in a car accident, of a heart attack or you could lose the use of your limbs.
Not to be dramatic, or to tell people to live life in fear, but to cherish what you have. I have to tell myself that often sometimes. But, sometimes, what you have isn't so bad and it's important to realize that before it's gone.
Ah, one of my favorite subjects, age. It gets to be that way when you have more and more of it.
ReplyDelete25 was a pivotal age in my life. It was the year I was out of school for good (2005), and looking for new purpose in life. The most important realization I had that year is - I hope I can explain this in any coherent way - that people aren't destined or doomed to anything. At the time, I wanted to be on Saturday Night Live. It's something I'd never have thought possible, but that age was the first time I really thought, "Well, nobody there was destined for it either." Obviously I didn't get on SNL, or even get serious about that goal, but it did open up my sense of possibility. Who was anyone to be where they were? And why couldn't I do it? I'd have to make things happen, of course, and rely on a little luck, but never again was anyone going to tell me there was no chance, or that I otherwise had to be or act a certain way.
The Ian you know - the one you met who was 30 - is far different than the one you would have met at 25. Better, I hope (low bar?). I've taken to saying recently that I've lived my life out of order, because really, you're as young or as old as you let yourself feel. As you said, the older you get, the more you understand other people's emotions, and your own. It helps you to be the age you want to be, regardless of whatever age you actually are.
I wish Ian would be on SNL. Maybe I would watch it more? Low Bar? No, it's a high bar, and guess what? Ian passed. Also, 25-year-old Karen is definitely making things happen and pushing for the desired age :)
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