I got my best relationship advice from the internet

April Fools! (Alright I might be about a month late on that one). 

I just felt like ranting about these so called "relationship advice" articles. I think they are absolutely hilarious. Even though, like many out there, I have looked up my fair share of answers on Google. Everybody does it and don't try to lie about it. 

From "Best Places to Meet Women" to "7 Solutions that can save a relationship," there is heap loads of relationship advice on the web from various sources, including news sources and the like I would normally trust. Those two listed above are not even as ridiculous as some. I just chose them because they are the first ones I Googled. 

I don't know where these so called "experts" come from half the time, but honestly, no one can give you advice that will 100 percent fit you, not even a shrink who knows what you tell them. Why? Because no one knows your relationship and how you feel about it, and how your spouse feels about it, better than you. 

I remember when I was a kid I had watched too many movies, read too many dramatic novels, listened to too many love songs and the like. Because of this (and I was a chubbier girl, but really not too much so) I thought that because I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, I would be ALONE FOREVER. This at the time felt like a death sentence. 

So, from a very young age, I decided I would never be married and never have kids. Well, anyone reading this who knows me, knows that both of those things turned out to be false. In fact, after my first college date, I realized I had been wrong to so severely judge myself . We are, after all, our own worst critic. 

I remember, along with a lot of my generation, taking Seventeen Magazine quizzes etc. about who was my perfect guy. I don't remember the results, but I remember when I took them, when I answered the questions I would be thinking of the guy I was interested in at the time, thus skewing my results on an already ridiculous quiz that was made up by someone who didn't know me or have any idea of who I was. 

My relationship now, isn't perfect, but there isn't one out there that is. Really, everyone just takes it one step at a time. All you can do is do your best and hope the person you have chosen is in it for the long haul, through thick and thin. 

I will never forget what my husband said to me when we were first dating. I had just passed the test of my first real relationship, which left me broken, to say the least. All my new found self-esteem from that first date in college that I gained after high school, had been washed away and only neglect and the feeling of having lost myself still remained.

I said, "Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can know their heart 100 percent and in this life there are no guarantees."

He looked me straight in the eye and said "There is such a thing as a guarantee."

He elaborated, saying that if you chose the right person who would stick by your side no matter what happened, that your marriage could be guaranteed. That was pretty good advice that he gave me, and you know what, it seemed to work out for him okay for the last 5 years and counting. 

I would have to say, I usually try not to ask relationship advice from anyone, minus the occasional family member. But, I think, if you are looking up advice on the Internet for your relationships, you are looking in the wrong place. 

Of course, what do I know? Don't listen to me. I am just a blogger on the Internet. 

An academic year in review

At The Marshfield Mail  where I work as a contributing writer and as editor for SouthCountyMail.com , we rotate who writes the columns for the paper. This week I wrote about this academic school year, which has been a strain on the communities I cover, as well as on myself as a reporter. 

For those of you who don't live in Southern Webster County, let me give you a little insight in what has happened throughout this school year: 

- An FFA teacher and adviser in a very agricultural focused community, was charged with driving while intoxicated, killing a man when he passed over the median on a highway and for endangering his two daughters, both of which were in the car at the time. 

- Three administrators made the decision to resign, one for another job, and two because of "difference of opinion" with the board of education. 

- A flyer went viral on social media and at the high school building, implicating three students in participating in a "virgin surgin contest," planned to take place at the high school homecoming dance. According to officials, this was a case of bullying and not an actual planned event by these students who were singled out on the flyer. 

- A cross country coach died suddenly, leaving behind his academic bowl participants during the district and state competition season, his cross country kids who were preparing for summer camp, his wife and two kids as well as many friends and past students that admired him greatly. 

These have given me stories that have been highly read, but most of all these things have tested me beyond what I ever thought possible in my career. It's taught me a few things: 

1. Sometimes in this job you have to cover things you don't want to cover. 

2. We cover these types of stories not just because they are controversial, but because we want to help the community come to terms with something that has deeply affected them or something that worries them. 

3. Just when you get used to the job, something will happen that will throw you for a loop

4.  Not everything is what it seems. 

As so many others do, I feel that when the time comes that I can put this school year behind me and move on, it will be a very welcome door to close. A big difference from last year, when I literally cried at graduation. (Yeah people, laugh as much as you want. When my kid graduates I will be a total basket case.) 

I have been very grateful to so many compliments I have received lately from those communities. Each and every story I write, I try to think about how it will affect the person reading it, whether it's the person I write about, a parent, a student or an administration. I think about how it might be perceived and I know if it wasn't for the wonderful people in those communities, I would have run from responsibility a long time ago. 

It's scary putting something out there that people will criticize, but it's encouraging when you care about the community you cover and you know they care about you as an individual and as a news source too. 

So, next time you see a movie where a journalist is portrayed as an uncaring person who only looks at the bottom line, I expect you to yell and throw things at the television. I always do.  

My taboo topic: Gay Marriage

Today I am going to talk about something that a rarely, ever talk about. So folks, listen up.

I have always had strongly mixed feelings about the idea of gay marriage. But, if you want to know what I think, this will probably be one of the few times you'll hear it. After having a conversation with an extreme conservative this afternoon, I felt inspired to touch base on this topic.

I will admit that sometimes I waver on some areas of my faith, but in general, I am a Christian individual that believes that there is a God who made us to be heterosexual, not homosexual.

However, I don't think we should think anything negative about those who choose something other than that. If someone is attracted to the same sex, well then, that's their business and the government should not tell them that they can't be with the person they love. If the roles were reversed I wouldn't want someone to tell me I couldn't be with my husband because it was unnatural, a sin or a crime.

The bible, specifically Jesus Christ, taught that we should love one another and that everyone is our brother, or our sister. By that logic, Christians should be kind to EVERYONE, no matter their sexual orientation, their race, how much money they make or what they do for a living.

Now, I know a peaceful utopia is a dream that will never be realized in this world, but why for goodness sake do we need to make it harder on others, while using God's name as the reason? Didn't we learn anything from the crusades? From the religious persecution that so many Christians have endured from others because of their beliefs?

When I had a conversation with this extreme conservative today, he used the words "repulsive" and "disgusting," to describe the concept of a homosexual couple. That's the problem right there. No one should be considered truly repulsive or disgusting, just because of who they are. Even those who have committed a truly terrible crime (of which gay marriage is obviously not), I would never call that person repulsive. I think what they did is awful, but that doesn't mean that person is evil or a bad person.

This conversation also involved these "activists" who are "infringing their rights on the rest of us," through businesses being expected to serve gay couples etc. Let me just say, I don't think anyone is infringing anything on me, in any way. Also, the "rest of us," isn't a proper term to use either. Little by little the majority of people are becoming the minority.

A lot of Christians cite the fact that gay people don't often stay together and that they just sleep around. Another fact also cited tends to be that children should only have a mother and father.

I know a couple that defies both of these things, and in fact, everyday they are an inspiration to me. This couple has been together since the 60s, and they love each other very much and are married (whether it is recognized in Missouri or not.) They have adopted two kids. The kids are often taken to the movies, to plays, out to the park and out to do fun things with their dads.

This is a lot more than I can say for lots of heterosexual couples I know. The same concept applies now days as far as the sleeping around concept. Many couples don't stay together, they live together without marriage and some just sleep around with whoever without remorse, heterosexuals and homosexuals alike. So, I don't even see a difference between the two.

Also, I know a lot of parents who spend more time worried about themselves then they do their kids, so if a gay couple is going to raise kids and give them the attention they deserve and the care they need, I say go for it. A loving home is the most important thing. I rather have these foster kids etc. in a loving home than feeling abandoned, where there natural parents left them.

Now again, I don't believe that God created man to be with man or woman to be with woman, but it's not up to us to force our belief system on anyone. I won't refuse basic human decency to anyone, no matter their sexual orientation and I hope that soon, the rest of the world will come around to realizing that everyone in this world has great worth.

When in doubt: blame Obama

It's no secret that I am young and I haven't seen a lot of presidents in my day. Out of 44 presidents, I have only been alive for the last five of them. However, I didn't really know anything about policies etc. until Bill Clinton since. 

Yes, Clinton, George W and Obama have all done things that I wasn't happy with at the time, or now when I look back at their legacy or current decisions. However, anyone in government can tell you that you can't make everybody happy. 

Throughout all these presidencies I have heard a lot of bad things about them all, either in their decisions regarding the presidency or their personal lives. I don't think I need to take us through too much memory lane as most of us probably remember Monica Lewinsky, the Iraq War and the government shutdown due to the great Obamacare debate. 

However, none of these presidents, no matter how bad they were, can be blamed for everything we want to blame them for. 

As I am older, and I have many extreme conservative friends and family, I have heard a lot of hate about our current president. I like to think of myself as a moderate, who sees both sides. Plus, I strongly believe, that even though it is our job to help our government to make good decisions and call them out when they don't, that once a president is elected, that's that. 

Now, I'm not saying we should just leave them to their own devices, because that is a VERY BAD idea. However, when Barack Obama was elected, he became our leader and president. So, he is a big part of the checks and balances system when it comes to making our government function. Yes, he has made some bad decisions and yes, things aren't maybe functioning 100 percent the way we want. But, WE elected him. Not just one side, not just one person, but the majority vote. Isn't that what our founding father's planned? The people choose a man they believe to be fitting? 

Sure, the election process and our times have changed. But, he is our president, and in the end we should stand together as a country. 

Today, i read absolutely the most ridiculous post about Obama today, and trust me, I have read a lot.

 

Even though this guy was trying to make a point, Really? 

He stated that ever since the president took office the economy has gotten worse, his children have gotten older, he has gained weight, he has more grey hair and the cost of milk has gone up. 

Then he said that he was joining his fellow Facebook peers in blaming the president for everything under the sun. 

Sounds to me, even if this guy was making a joke or making a point to Facebook pals, maybe he needs to find some new friends.

Perfect ending + haters = one annoyed blogger

I wasn't going to blog about How I Met Your Mother, but there have just been too many negative posts online about it, that I just can't help myself. Even though, in the whole grand scheme of things, it's just a TV show.

**SPOILER ALERT**

I am going to do this in points, because there is just no better way to do it.

1. TED HAS TO END UP WITH ROBIN EVENTUALLY
Even though a lot of fans were unhappy with the whole Tracy died deal and now Ted is going back to Robin deal, I was not, and I don't think any fan should be. (Of course, everyone has their opinion.) Ted and Robin's characters had something that was real, and that was undeniable.
Even, if it didn't work out on the first try....or the second.... I don't think those kind of feelings for someone ever go away. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that they do. Especially when neither of them really did anything terrible and unforgivable to each other. Really, the timing was just bad each time around. Timing is part of life for everyone.
If Ted had never ended up with Robin, I am sure there would have been several fans who said "But, they were meant to be!" You can't make everyone happy.

2. THE WRITERS PROBABLY ORIGINALLY PLANNED THE ENDING, BUT THEY DUG A HOLE
First of all, the fact that writer's can make a show based on how someone met the mother of their children, is pretty impressive.
I think originally the writers wanted Ted and Robin to be together, but they didn't know how they would get there and the mom needed to be someone different to keep it interesting. The blue french horn? Really? It HAD TO HAPPEN. But, there were lots of hints all through the show that Robin wasn't the mother. So, what can they do when they find out the show is going to end?
Try like heck to get the ending they wanted in the perfect time allotted.

3. EMOTIONAL STORY MEETS COMEDY
I think a lot of the reasons fans were disappointed with the ending, is those fans probably watch it 100 percent for the comedy. I watched it because I liked Ted. He was the good guy who always seemed to finish last.
The last episode was kind of funny, but mostly just emotional for the characters. So, if you expect comedy all the way though a season finale that has a lot of emotion packed into one, well you are going to be disappointed.

4. REAL LIFE = NOT A FAIRY TALE ENDING
Things happen in real life to the people we love EVERY DAY. That's why I think the ending was more realistic than if Ted and Tracy had lived a perfect life until the end of time.
The writers chose to write about their friends and the stupid things they did while living in New York. It was based around hanging out and having a good time, with a reoccurring love story. If it had ended all with roses for everyone, it wouldn't be anything like real life, which was the whole premise of the story from the beginning.
People get divorced and Barney getting married was way out of character for him. People don't just change overnight, no matter what we like to believe.
Of course, in real life Ted and Robin probably wouldn't have ended up together either, but what they hey? Let them have their unrealized dream come true. At least something happy came out of a sad ending.

Really it was the perfect ending for that show. It will go down on my list of the few shows that the ending wasn't ruined. Maybe you should start watching more TV shows all the way from beginning to end. Then maybe you will be little more grateful for what you have.