They've stolen my blissful ignorance!!!

I have NEVER been a healthy eater, yet I ALWAYS say that I want to be. One day, I'll get there and hopefully before I have a heart-attack from eating cheeseburgers way too often.

However, there is a place where I draw the line. It's frozen cheeseburgers, which I don't like to begin with and despise when they come from one of my favorite fast food joints. 

If I was to sit down and think about it, it's obvious that most fast-food joint burgers themselves and other items come to the restaurant frozen already, delivered by large trucks. However, when I go to a restaurant - greasy fast food or otherwise - I like to at least think I am enjoying a nice hand prepped meal. It may sound silly to most, but I like that illusion and the blissful ignorance of going to a restaurant.

I know many people - journalists and health nuts mostly - who will read through all the restaurant inspections etc. and choose whether to go to a place or not, based on that. Well, I will tell you, I cook ALOT for my family and for others. I don't have cockroaches in my kitchen or open containers of raw meat stored above open containers of produce, but I am sure that mine, and many other home kitchens, would not pass the tests carried out by our system.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that health code system is in place. I don't want to be eating somewhere that should clearly be shut down and be completely ignorant of it. But, in general I like the ignorance is bliss train of thought when it comes to my food. Sure, it's important to be informed that too many fatty cheeseburgers can kill me, but I don't really care to know how the cow was butchered etc. I like to pretend hamburger meat is just that: a burger. It's not a black and white cow that I might see as I am driving through small Missouri towns, it's just meat.

Now to many, especially those who grew up in the great outdoors, I just sound ignorant and ridiculous. I know that.

Now, how does this all tie in to this silly frozen meal concept? I don't want to know that the freezer burgers are similar to the ones in the restaurant. I'd like to be in blissful ignorance, thinking that each Steak N' Shake burger was made with love. :)

I know most people probably don't care about this as much as I do, and think I am being a silly little child. However, I don't care. This was the final straw that is probably going to make me want to NEVER eat Steak N' Shake again. I could ignore the extreme greasiness of the food and maybe how the floors are always greasy when I eat inside a Steak N' Shake, but now every time I go to the grocery store, I will be reminded of how one of the stops of my past had a big EPIC FAIL. If you knew how many times a working mom has to go to the grocery store, you would understand.

Will this blog come back to haunt me when I open up my own restaurant someday? Probably.

Moving is never easy

In a little over a week I will be leaving my current job, Editor of South County Mail to pursue a job with the Cedar County Republican . This means, not only changing jobs, but relocating. I really haven't relocated all that many times in my young life (cities and towns that is, not apartments, because I've lived in a lot of those.)

When I left my hometown in Rolla, Missouri, where I had lived my whole life, I was pursuing a Bachelor's Degree at Missouri State University in Springfield. Sure, I had traveled to places such as Hawaii, Scotland, England and various states in the U.S., but I had never lived anywhere else. Springfield, approximately 1 1/2 hours from Rolla, was not all that far from home, but the first time I had left to live anywhere else. My parents were older than most when I was born, so they were ready to settle down by then.

Since then, the only other place I have lived is Ozark. The city of Ozark is only about 20 minutes from Springfield, so it really wasn't much of an adventure and we did everything in Springfield then anyways.

After college, I freelanced a little while and then took my current job. Even though I stayed in Springfield, I really felt like I lived in many places. I truly felt like I was a part of Rogersville, Fordland and sometimes on rare occasions, Marshfield and Seymour. So now, as I live Springfield, I not only leave my home of 7 years behind, but I leave two other towns that feel like home.

I am very excited to move to Stockton, Missouri for many reasons. 1) The job will be great. 2) I'll be close to the lake. 3) We will be closer to my husband's family, that only lives about 20 minutes away.

However, it's hard to do. It seems strange to back up my belongings and move somewhere for a job, because technically, I've never done it before.

I am excited to embrace my new life, but I will be leaving an old one behind. It's sad, but happy all at the same time. I guess relocating is just part of growing up and I guess now it's time for me to make my own path.

It just feels odd to drive to a place and know it might be the last time you do so, right?

Here's my column I wrote for the paper.

No one else could do what he did

So, I told myself I wasn't going to blog about Robin Williams, because so much has already been said. What more is there to say? But, I couldn't help myself.

In my lifetime I remember a lot of celebrities who have died in various ways. Some have been ill, others died of old age, others died in plane crashes or something along those lines. I would have to say out of all the celebrity deaths, this one has hit me the hardest because there is no one else in this world who could do exactly what Williams could. (Kind of like The King of Pop, but that's a whole other story.)

Just about everyone who has ever watched comedy or movies, knows who Williams is. I was first introduced to his voice skills in Aladdin, which to this day, is still one of my favorite Disney movies. I could sing practically all the songs acapella, I know them so well.

Then as I got older I could appreciate Mrs. Doubtfire. A soon-to-be divorcee pretends to be an old woman so he be the nanny for his kids. I think this film always hit me hard because my father missed my half-sister so much after he got a divorce from her mother. Even to this day he refuses to watch any movie that involves divorce or a custody battle. I guess I related Williams to my father in a small part. A good father who just wants to be with his children.

Since then, I have grown very fond of his characters in Dead Poets Society, August Rush, One Hour Photo (it's a terrible movie, but his performance is absolutely stunning because it's so darn creepy), Jumanji, Night at the Museum (the first, not the second) and his Law and Order: SVU episodes (which were really darn good).

His death has made me realize a few things, but especially this:

It's easy to get caught up in our own world with work, friends, and entertainment. It reminds me how important it is to be there for other people. EVERYONE is going through something, even if we don't see it right away. I know when I am feeling blue the thing I want to turn to right away is either my friends or family. Some people keep it inside more, but I think the best thing we each can do, it let those we love know it. Don't delay! I know it sounds cheesy, "say it because each day might be our last." However, it's true, we never know when that person we're used to won't be there anymore. If my loved one is going through something, I sure hope I have let them know that I am there for them.

Staying connected or getting cut off?

I've been thinking a lot about social media, because as a journalist, it's a HUGE part of my job and thus, part of my life. I love a lot of things about it, but is it really connecting people more, or just cutting us off from the real world?

I can give several examples of each:

CONNECTING PEOPLE

Far Away, Yet Close Together-  My family doesn't get to travel a lot. We both have jobs that keep us extremely busy and we never seem to have money growing on trees (which makes sense, because according to most of my elders, it doesn't). So, we don't spend the money and we don't often take off long enough to go the places we would want to go.

Because of this, it's hard to see cousins, siblings etc. So I feel connected when I see photos of my cousin's twin daughters or when I hear the day to day status updates from my aunt.

I never see my best pals who live all the way across the country, but yet, when I turn to the internet, the best of conversations can be had. It's about as close to face to face interaction with those I may not see again, or for a really long time.

Internet Will Tell What They Won't- I find it so interesting that some of my friends are mostly introverted, yet telling something to the void is okay. Even those who aren't, will tell sad news or something totally unexpected on their Facebook status. I guess they feel they can get it all over in one go, instead of having to tell everyone.

Some examples include
-coming out of the closet
-a death in the family
-miscarriage
-things they don't like about people, but would never tell that person to their face
- when they are pregnant

Find things you would never have found on your own- I love Twitter and Pinterest for a lot of reasons. The biggest one is because you can find news articles you wouldn't have once come across, you find recipes, your friend's plans for her wedding gown or a joke your friend might not have told you face to face.

CUTTING US OFF

The unimportant seems important- It's easy to get caught in this trap if you are even remotely an emotional person. All social media has a way of making you think something unimportant is a sign of a dying friendship or someone insulting you. I can't share the names of the people in these situations, but let me give you a few examples of stupid fights/problems that start because of social media.

Person 1: Did you see this link I posted?
Person 2: No I didn't.
1: Oh, (sounding disappointed) I posted it because I wanted you to see it.
2: (Awkwardly) Umm....sorry.

Person 3 (in private message): Why did you unfriend me? I am sorry if I did anything to offend you. I don't understand because I really enjoy seeing your posts.
Person 4: (awkwardly lying) I don't know, it must have been a Facebook glitch. I didn't unfriend you, because I would never do that.

Status Update: I have some friends that have not been good friends at all lately. I guess I know who my true friends are.

Status Update: Let's see how many people repost this: If you are really my friend, just say one word, ONLY ONE WORD about how we first met.

Situation: Someone you thought was your best friend or was a family member forgets your birthday, you know they probably just didn't see it or get on Facebook that day. But, you still think they should have remembered you. Who cares if they have 10,000 friends? What about you?

Situation: You write a message and you know they read it because the message box shows a check mark and says "seen." Why wouldn't they reply to you, isn't your message more important than whatever they were doing?

Love doesn't just "happen"- When Harry Met Sally would never happen today. Too bad, because it's a great movie. In a nutshell Harry and Sally Meet in college and run into each other a couple time in New York and by the time they are in their 30s they realize that they are meant to be. They kiss at midnight on New Year's and the rest is history.

That never happens now. EVER. First of all, it's a movie. But, it really probably wouldn't happen now because we all have Facebook or LinkedIn or Twitter. If that film took place today it would suck. Synopsis: Harry and Sally share the ride to NY from CA. They kind of have a spark, but they say goodbye and go their separate ways. Since Harry wants to sleep with her he friends her on FB. He stalks her for years and knows everything about her. Then when they bump into each other again they don't know what to talk about because they already know everything about each other. The End.

Now, again this being a movie, in real life perspective, people who date don't have to ask each other as many questions, which is a large part of dating fun and intrigue. I am a big fan of letting things happen naturally, but in this age, natural isn't really natural anymore.

Friendships don't take as much work-  Why would I bother going to lunch with a pal when I read all her thoughts on Facebook? I don't need to ask about my friend's relationships, because Facebook already tells me when they are in one. I don't need to keep a list of my friends birthdays, because Facebook will remind me. The list goes on and on and on.

I could probably rant for another 10 pages but my post is already too long. Overall I think social media is digging us in a hole we will probably never escape. But, am I going to stop using it? Probably not.

Schools: Big vs Small

I have been married for 5 1/2 years, but my husband and I are still in the "when we grow up" phase of our lives. We have lots of plans for the future, which is not a bad thing, even though we don't agree on the same things always. It's part of being in a relationship and part of compromising for each other.

One thing we have discussed is building a house in a few years when we are at the right point financially, when we are ready to make the transition and when we find the right location. That way, we can have all the bells and whistles, but for a cheaper price, since his dad is a framer and has built houses for a living.

In discussing where we might live we have gotten into the debate about schools, which is natural because we have a kid. He grew up in a small town with the population 220. I grew up in a city with about 19,000. Neither place was large, but still, it's a considerable difference between the two. He had a graduating class of 16, I had a graduating class of 316. (Not exactly, but close). Technically, he wasn't even in his graduating class, because he got his GED. But, you get the point.

His activities while in school: Basketball. My activities in school: Band, Choir, Drama and Student Council. Needless to say, I did more and had more opportunities. However, our families philosophies were also different. His parents said that a teenager should be with his family or studying, because family is forever. Plus, they have to earn their keep and help around the house. My parents said that I should help around the house for allowance, but I should be involved in school academically and in extra curricular activities.

*Note- I have never thought negatively about small schools, but I have just never thought they were for me or my family.*

Recently, I attended four graduations, three for work and one for a family member's graduation. After that, I have come to a couple conclusions.

1) Unlike one speaker said, smaller schools are not better than bigger ones. Just because you go to a large school doesn't mean you are "just a grain of sand on the beach." You can excel no matter where you are and no matter where you come from.

2) Bigger schools are not better than smaller ones. To quote one of my favorite 2014 speakers giving an address for a graduating class of 30, "The size of the city you are from has no relevance to your intelligence. You will go on and meet people from places like Hong Kong, New York City and Tulsa. You will have to compete against some of these people, and you will do just fine."

3) It's important to find a school that focuses on academics, but has fun stuff too. A graduate of a small school recently told me "I wish I had gone to a bigger school. I would have had more to choose from."

4) When it comes to the extra stuff, some schools have co-op sports and activities, so if you choose a small school, all is not lost.

Maybe I had the wrong outlook and still do. But I considered HS important because it leads to college. If you get bad grades in HS, you won't get into the school you want. Other than that, you are still a kid. You should have fun because when you grow up, there will be a lot more responsibilities to worry about.

I got my best relationship advice from the internet

April Fools! (Alright I might be about a month late on that one). 

I just felt like ranting about these so called "relationship advice" articles. I think they are absolutely hilarious. Even though, like many out there, I have looked up my fair share of answers on Google. Everybody does it and don't try to lie about it. 

From "Best Places to Meet Women" to "7 Solutions that can save a relationship," there is heap loads of relationship advice on the web from various sources, including news sources and the like I would normally trust. Those two listed above are not even as ridiculous as some. I just chose them because they are the first ones I Googled. 

I don't know where these so called "experts" come from half the time, but honestly, no one can give you advice that will 100 percent fit you, not even a shrink who knows what you tell them. Why? Because no one knows your relationship and how you feel about it, and how your spouse feels about it, better than you. 

I remember when I was a kid I had watched too many movies, read too many dramatic novels, listened to too many love songs and the like. Because of this (and I was a chubbier girl, but really not too much so) I thought that because I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, I would be ALONE FOREVER. This at the time felt like a death sentence. 

So, from a very young age, I decided I would never be married and never have kids. Well, anyone reading this who knows me, knows that both of those things turned out to be false. In fact, after my first college date, I realized I had been wrong to so severely judge myself . We are, after all, our own worst critic. 

I remember, along with a lot of my generation, taking Seventeen Magazine quizzes etc. about who was my perfect guy. I don't remember the results, but I remember when I took them, when I answered the questions I would be thinking of the guy I was interested in at the time, thus skewing my results on an already ridiculous quiz that was made up by someone who didn't know me or have any idea of who I was. 

My relationship now, isn't perfect, but there isn't one out there that is. Really, everyone just takes it one step at a time. All you can do is do your best and hope the person you have chosen is in it for the long haul, through thick and thin. 

I will never forget what my husband said to me when we were first dating. I had just passed the test of my first real relationship, which left me broken, to say the least. All my new found self-esteem from that first date in college that I gained after high school, had been washed away and only neglect and the feeling of having lost myself still remained.

I said, "Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can know their heart 100 percent and in this life there are no guarantees."

He looked me straight in the eye and said "There is such a thing as a guarantee."

He elaborated, saying that if you chose the right person who would stick by your side no matter what happened, that your marriage could be guaranteed. That was pretty good advice that he gave me, and you know what, it seemed to work out for him okay for the last 5 years and counting. 

I would have to say, I usually try not to ask relationship advice from anyone, minus the occasional family member. But, I think, if you are looking up advice on the Internet for your relationships, you are looking in the wrong place. 

Of course, what do I know? Don't listen to me. I am just a blogger on the Internet. 

An academic year in review

At The Marshfield Mail  where I work as a contributing writer and as editor for SouthCountyMail.com , we rotate who writes the columns for the paper. This week I wrote about this academic school year, which has been a strain on the communities I cover, as well as on myself as a reporter. 

For those of you who don't live in Southern Webster County, let me give you a little insight in what has happened throughout this school year: 

- An FFA teacher and adviser in a very agricultural focused community, was charged with driving while intoxicated, killing a man when he passed over the median on a highway and for endangering his two daughters, both of which were in the car at the time. 

- Three administrators made the decision to resign, one for another job, and two because of "difference of opinion" with the board of education. 

- A flyer went viral on social media and at the high school building, implicating three students in participating in a "virgin surgin contest," planned to take place at the high school homecoming dance. According to officials, this was a case of bullying and not an actual planned event by these students who were singled out on the flyer. 

- A cross country coach died suddenly, leaving behind his academic bowl participants during the district and state competition season, his cross country kids who were preparing for summer camp, his wife and two kids as well as many friends and past students that admired him greatly. 

These have given me stories that have been highly read, but most of all these things have tested me beyond what I ever thought possible in my career. It's taught me a few things: 

1. Sometimes in this job you have to cover things you don't want to cover. 

2. We cover these types of stories not just because they are controversial, but because we want to help the community come to terms with something that has deeply affected them or something that worries them. 

3. Just when you get used to the job, something will happen that will throw you for a loop

4.  Not everything is what it seems. 

As so many others do, I feel that when the time comes that I can put this school year behind me and move on, it will be a very welcome door to close. A big difference from last year, when I literally cried at graduation. (Yeah people, laugh as much as you want. When my kid graduates I will be a total basket case.) 

I have been very grateful to so many compliments I have received lately from those communities. Each and every story I write, I try to think about how it will affect the person reading it, whether it's the person I write about, a parent, a student or an administration. I think about how it might be perceived and I know if it wasn't for the wonderful people in those communities, I would have run from responsibility a long time ago. 

It's scary putting something out there that people will criticize, but it's encouraging when you care about the community you cover and you know they care about you as an individual and as a news source too. 

So, next time you see a movie where a journalist is portrayed as an uncaring person who only looks at the bottom line, I expect you to yell and throw things at the television. I always do.