What I've learned from driving a Hummer

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. She drives a Hummer? After this question pops into your mind, the next things you might think are:

A) She must have a lot of money.
B) That's so bad for the environment.
C) Only people who want to impress people drive those.
D) That's cool. I wish I had one.
E) That's so 2006.
F) Lame.

It's interesting to me some of the stipulations that come along with it.

2004 H2 Hummer

People seem to like to open their mouths when it comes to the Hummer. Here are some of the comments I received.

"Wow. You drive a Hummer. That must be expensive."
"How much gas do you spend on that thing? It must be a lot."
"I wish I could afford that."
"Your husband must really love you, to buy that for you."
*open-mouth*
"Nice ride."
"Your Hummer is sweet."
"You went all out, didn't you?
"Wow."
"I didn't recognize your house, because I didn't expect to see a Hummer in your driveway."

Let me take a minute to educate you. Hummers started coming out in 1992, when GM decided to start marketing the Humvee look to the general population. The H1 was a larger model, more like the original military vehicles, and yeah, they were huge.
From 2002-2009, they started making the H2, a smaller model that is considered to be a larger SUV.
From 2005-2010, Hummer started making the H3, either a smaller, 5 door SUV or the Truck.
Brand new, yes, these things were very expensive. The H2 ranged from $67-25k (the $25k was after price was reduced when the company ran into financial trouble.)

I remember a high school student who had a Hummer when I was in school in 2006. I thought it made him look like a rich jerk whose daddy bought him everything he wanted. Well, whether he was or wasn't, I judged him based on his vehicle.

But, times have changed. What happened in the United States in 2007? If you don't remember, I sure do. The recession hit. Prior to 2007, the US was in a phase of big expensive cars and houses. The people in the US were livin' it up. So, if you had the money for a Hummer, why not?

After that, people got tighter with their money, and were also getting more concerned with Global Warming (thanks Al Gore).

So what happened to the Hummer phase? Hummer tapped out and the company stopped making them at the end of 2009. Now, supposedly, Hummer is trying to make a comeback, but will it? Who knows?

But, when you see my Hummer, or anyone else's for that matter, take what you've learned and apply it.

1) The last Hummer you saw was probably made 2010 or before. That means it's at least 9 years old. Think about that for a moment. If you saw someone driving a 9-year-old car, would you say "Wow, how could you afford that car?" Probably not.

2) The gas is expensive is bad for the environment. Yeah, that's probably true, but how many people do you see driving new trucks around. My husband's 2019 model Nissan Titan is just as bad for the environment. The gas costs the same. The mileage might not be quite as good, but, if you're using that Hummer for only in town driving, it might not make a huge economic impact.

I've rarely been spoken to about any of my previous vehicles by random strangers, because it was a normal car. It really makes me think about how people judge each other on the vehicle they drive. It might be human nature, but people look at your cars and think things about you. They might think you're poor, or messy, extremely clean, a successful business owner, or an unsuccessful business owner, a show off, homeless, rich, a jerk, etc.

Yeah, I know by purchasing the vehicle, I was opening myself up to these comments. I don't ask people I know to necessarily shut their mouths about my vehicle, and I wasn't specifically offended by any of these comments. I mean, I chose to buy a Hummer. I've had it for awhile, and there's a reason I haven't announced that I own one online before now.

For the record, I only fill up about once every two weeks (if even that), and it costs about $60. Most people fill up their tank every week for around $30. Both equal $120 in gas. I spent about $9-10k on it. A brand new truck can cost over $30k. My Hummer has over 200,000 miles on it, and it still runs like a champ.

I'm not bragging, or at least not trying to. I'm trying to say that my vehicle that looks overly priced, is really just a really well running SUV that can fit my kids and their friends, and well, it suits me better than a van. (Not that there's anything wrong with vans, its just not something I would want).

It really makes me think about how human kind struggles on judging people from the outside. We tend to judge people, without even thinking about it, based on their clothes, car, house etc. It's just basic human nature. A trait of humanity that we need to continue to fight against within ourselves. There are so many people in the world. If you make an impact on one person's life, you are important to that person. Just think of how many lives one person can positively or negatively influence another. None of that should have to do with status (other than wow, that person changed their situation because they worked hard etc.). But, that's a flaw of mankind we always have to work to overcome.

Childhood fears Conquered

This past weekend, my family and I went to Six Flags St. Louis. Since I grew up about an hour and 10 minutes away from it, going back brought back a lot of memories, good and bad.
I knew I wanted to do one thing for sure, going into the park that day. I was going to go on Mr. Freeze, or die trying. For those of you that don't know, Mr. Freeze: Reverse Blast is a roller coaster that just like it sounds, blasts off in reverse. You go through everything backwards, including up a steep incline, and then back down again forwards.

Mr. Freeze: Reverse Blast
Photo found via Pinterest

When I was a kid, I was terrified to ride it. My friends tried to convince me multiple times on school field trips, because then, it was the "cool, new ride." I would ride just about any ride, but this one. I think it was something about going backwards up 150 ft. in the air, that just seemed to scary at the time. 

Yet, at 18, somehow I was brave enough to try out the Dragon's Wing, which to many, would be much scarier. It was kind of expensive, but I went with one of my best friend's at the time. Today I still consider it worth the extra money I spent. 

Dragon's Wing
Photo courtesy of Six Flags St. Louis

Who knows what drives our fears? I can definitely say that they aren't always rational. But, regardless, we fear what we fear. Lately, I have been trying very hard to conquer my fears, and I'd say so far, it's paid off every time.

I am sure, there are some fears that are rational, which I have no intention of overcoming. I still fear a great many things. But, it's those irrational fears that I can narrow down into the "wimping out" category that I have been parting with. 

So, did I finally do Mr. Freeze? 

Mr. Freeze conquered.

OK, so that's a terrible photo of me. I had been out in the hot sun, had been on water rides and was wearing a shirt that belongs to Reagan (AKA tiny shirt). I maybe didn't end the day looking very attractive, but I conquered my fear. 

Not to mention, I got a sweet Henna tattoo on my shoulder. Reagan, Noah, Logan, Alicia, Boston, James and Maela were all there too, getting to ride most of the rides they wanted for the day as well. We had a blast. Not only did I squash a childhood fear, but I got to spend a day with the best family I could ask for. Life doesn't get much better than that. 

If that's not joy, I don't know what it. 

Dreams, easier dreamed than accomplished

Ever since I was a teenager, I have been interested in biographies, particularly autobiographies. It was probably odd when I was in high school, but now that I am getting older...it's maybe a little less odd, but maybe not. 

I think it goes back to my recent post about how intriguing people inspire me to stick to the journalism world. I just want to learn more about people and why they do what they do. 

Now, I generally don't care for political biographies etc., because to be honest, who wants to read about someone tooting their own horn or using their own story to get voters? Not me. I get enough of that during election times on the TV, radio and social media. I like to read about people who are pop culture icons for some reason. I like to see what they've accomplished in their personal lives', besides what we see on TV or in the movies. 

Lately, I have been reading "Talking As Fast As I Can," by Lauren Graham (Lorelei off of Gilmore Girls). She is hilarious! But, fundamentally, it makes me realize how similar people are. Sure, she has some stories that differ from my own, but deep down, she is someone who worked to get where she is today. That's what almost everyone does. 

She was an average teenage girl who went for her dreams. I think that's what sets your typical person and a lot of household names apart. They went for their dreams, and they didn't stop and that's what got them their "moment in the spotlight" or however you want to put it. We are all the same in many ways, but striving to meet our goals and making our dreams come true is what sets us apart from the rest. 

Not everyone can have their dream job, and I would be lying if I said they could. I mean, what child grows up dreaming they will work at McDonald's? (OK. That's a bad example, because kids might want to, but you get my point.) We need people to fix our dishwashers, take our trash to the dump, work in a butcher shop etc., but that may not have been their dream. So, I am glad in many ways for those who maybe give up their dreams to help serve others in various capacities.

However, we should never stop dreaming. There's always a dream to work towards, even if your dream changes with time. I plan to make most of my dreams come true, but if not, I am going to go down fighting :) 

Insecurity: Our own worst enemy

I've been thinking a lot about insecurity. It plagued me for years, and still does from time to time. The funny thing is, so many others feel it too about themselves, although it's easy sometimes to feel like you're the only one who has insecurities. Some feel insecure about their performance at work, about the way they appear to others and even worse, sometimes their ability to be the type of human being they should be.
I think that's why EVERYONE should have something that they are passionate about. Say, for instance, you love cooking. That's great, if you want to continue to work at it and excel at it, do it. But, when that passion fades, as most passion does at one point or another, find a new passion. If you don't you can't always find yourself in what seems like a dark and dull world.
Some people can find enthusiasm in the same activity or goal for years, as long as they keep challenging themselves. I think that's why I've been pretty care free lately. While the world is sometimes crashing down around me, I know I am still making progress on my own personal goals. Each little goal success makes me almost giddy. It makes me want to sing and dance around to music, or just smile a little more than normal.
It makes you feel just a little bit better about yourself, just long enough to quiet some of those insecurities. Even if it's just for a little while, focus on helping yourself. I've heard often that you can't help others until you help yourself. I think that's true, to a large extent. However, you need to stay in tune to what others around you need as well, or you'll just be a self-absorbed person. It's a tricky balance I think. But, battle your own insecurities first. Then, maybe, just maybe, you can go out of your way to reach out to another and make them feel good about themselves as well.

The itch for jaw-dropping intrigue

I've worked quite a few jobs in my young life, less than some, but more than others. Almost every time I worked at a basic customer service job, especially when I worked at Wally World, I would hear negative comments about customers. It was never done to their faces, and often done away from customers at all. It's just part of working in a customer service industry sadly. For whatever reason, a customer might be in a bad mood and they don't think about how they are treating the employee of the store. But, yes, some people are just jerks. 

My least favorite comment of all time, that I heard a lot of, was "I hate people." That's such a sordid blanket statement. I can understand feeling negative towards customers throughout the day, but people, in my opinion are the best part about living.

I think that's why I went into journalism, though now I choose to practice my field on my own terms and in my own time. If I don't want a job, I don't take it. It's a beautiful way of life. Many people tend to think "if you want to eat, you take a job....no matter how bad it is." I can do that for a time, but do a job you hate for too long and you'll end up miserable. Take it from me, I've done it. One job I kept for nine months. I know nine months sounds like very little time to most, but it was the longest job of my life. 

Through journalism, I have been able to explore the world that others live in. It's an unbelievable feeling to be able to see the world through another person's eyes. Among my favorite articles that come to mind, is the story of a cross country coach in Stockton and his friend who is a handy man. In their spare time, they trained and qualified for American Ninja Warrior.  The dedication these two have is amazing. In fact, I'd go as far as to say, that they were some of the many who inspired me to go on my current athletic journey. Seeing people excel, who have no intention of giving up no matter how hard it may be, is amazing. I get many opportunities to explore the "why" behind what people do and see what drives them, while asking more and more questions. 

Though to some, it might sound crazy, I think my pursuit of journalism in many ways can be selfless and selfish. It's selfless, because it's a service business. You write about the people for the people, or at least that's what you're supposed to do. But, it can be selfish, because sometimes, as a journalist, you just want to satisfy your own curiosity. 

Either way, I know being surprised often by people is something I love about life. Without different perspectives, goals, beliefs and choices....life just wouldn't be as beautiful. So, surprise me. I dare you. ;) 

The Brangelina Obsession

I am just sick right now about all this Brad, Angie, Marion and Jennifer crap. First it was "Angie files for divorce", followed by "Marion and Brad were cheating together," then "Jennifer says this is karma," and finally "Marion says it's not true!" Talk about drama!

Sure, like a lot of the world, I was quite interested when I found out Angelina and Brad were divorcing. My first reaction was "man, that sucks" and my second being "he probably cheated." I think my initial reaction was the best one. I thought about their kids, all the charities they helped together and how the world saw their intense on-scene chemistry way back when they filmed Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I have a few points about this whole debacle I would like to share, and then I would like to move on and forget about it (like the rest of the Internet should do.)

1. It's a divorce and I am sorry for them. The rest of the world should be too. Who cares about the whole Brad and Jennifer drama that happened way back when. A family is splitting and that is never a good or OK thing in my opinion. Sometimes, based on the situation, it should and has to happen for the happiness of all involved. But, it should be a last resort. In an ideal world, a child should be raised by a loving mother AND father. But, I rather have a single loving mother raise her children than two parents stay together who hate each other. What does that teach the child? It teaches them the wrong ideas about what love can and should be. No one should revel in their divorce, no matter how they got together. Divorce is a sad thing and just because it's in the spotlight because of Angie and Brad's job, doesn't mean it should be treated any differently.

2. The whole "it's karma" thing is a bunch of awful crap. Yes, Brad and Angie made a bad choice to cheat when Brad and Jennifer were married. It was wrong, plain and simple. However, no one and women especially should revel in another woman's pain. I know a lot of women and men have gone through the pain of finding out that their spouse is a cheater. Unfortunately, I don't think it's a rare thing these days. But, reveling in someones pain, just because it's ironic, doesn't make it OK. We should still be sorry for the divorce as a whole (as stated above) or just not think about it at all. After all, it's not really any one's business, is it?

3. The media is making me sick right now. I know it's the whole "there's a demand we need to fill" thing, the "it's a novelty" deal and finally "they are public figures" analogy. I've been in journalism and I know why the papers/TV/web is talking about it. But the NY Post's cover was just insane. This Cover is just shameful. I mean really? They are taking a photo of Jennifer and using it in the wrong context. I hope she sues the post. Unless she is officially quoted them or gave them the a-OK to use this, I think it's wrong of them to use this. So much for your name NY Post. I don't consider that good journalism and shame on you.

OK. I am done with my Brad and Angie rant. Thanks for listening.

Disney is full of strong female examples, contrary to recently published "research"

I came across an article on Facebook earlier this week, pointing out the problems that Disney cartoons have caused, specifically those made between the 80s and 90s. 

The article suggests that The Little Mermaid and the princess stories that followed in the next few years, limited women in terms of speech and offered few examples of strong powerful women.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that Disney has affected my generation WAY TOO MUCH. We had a slur of films with catchy songs and fascinating stories (in my opinion at least). Plus the 90s was a prominent time for home video. It was simple for almost any parent, no matter their financial standing, to find it an easy solution to pop their kids in front of the TV to keep them busy. I was effected by The Little Mermaid other such films in good and bad ways.

Bad things I learned

Your happy ever after means you have a prince charming-  You don't have to have a "prince charming" per say, because he doesn't exist. It is however important to have someone in your life who cares about you and you care for in return, whether that's your mom, boyfriend, best friend or wife.

Hunting is evil-  I learned this not only from Bambi, but a slur of other animal based films (whether Disney, or from somewhere else.) Hunting isn't evil, but I just can't shake this one all the way. Logically, I know the meat I eat comes from someone killing an animal. That doesn't mean I can handle being around people hunting. I like to see meat in a grocery store as "pork" and not as Babe the pig.

Life is a fantasy world, full of happiness:  There is a lot of happiness, but there also is a lot of sadness. Disney movies very rarely convey true life problems, especially the cartoons. But, then again, that's the basis of the appeal.


Good things I learned

Life is always better with a smile on your face and a song in your heart-  Snow White taught me that, and yes, it may sound lame, but it's true. When you let the bad things get you down, you will feel down ALL THE TIME. (or at least a lot of times) When you put a smile on and push through, or sing a song when you are feeling down, it just seems to make the world a little less hopeless.

You have to stand up and fight for what you believe is right-  Mulan, Pocahontas, Brave, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and probably every Disney movie reinstated this in me. You can't just sit back and watch others destroy themselves or let others destroy your life. You've got to do what you can to help others and help yourself.

You can be a success if you work hard- Tiana of course reinstated that one. She dreams for a long time to get her own restaurant, but in the end, she has to earn money by working day and night. She saves it all up to get her dream.



One of the women quoted in the article says about Beauty and the Beast:

"There's one isolated princess trying to get someone to marry her, but there are no women doing any other things,” Fought says. “There are no women leading the townspeople to go against the Beast, no women bonding in the tavern together singing drinking songs, women giving each other directions, or women inventing things. Everybody who’s doing anything else, other than finding a husband in the movie, pretty much, is a male.”

What's her deal? Belle had a lot of amazing qualities and was a great role model to girls I think. 1) She went into a terrifying castle to go save her father. She was brave. 2) She was selfless when she volunteered to take his place in an isolated prison where a scary beast presided. 3) She was educated. She read constantly to learn, entertain herself and become a more well-rounded person. The townspeople thought she was odd. It's because she wasn't fawning over Gaston like all the silly other girls in town. 4.) When the townspeople went to kill the beast, she had learned that not all things are like they appear. She knew he was kind. She did everything she could to save him. If she had not returned, Gaston would have killed the Beast.

Needless to say, these stories are fantasies, but I think I'm OK with trying to live up to some of the ideals and examples that those princesses left for me.

Grey colored glasses are going out of style

I saw a meme on Facebook a few days ago that made me laugh. (Even though I hate memes with a passion) This year is going to be the year everyone was offended by everything. It's so true! Apparently, no one believes in the color grey anymore. 

I was taught growing up, through church, that there are not any grey areas. Everything is black or white. I think adults said this, misinterpreting what it actually meant. I do believe everything is black or white in terms of God's law, which has been set forth since before the beginning of earth. You either choose to follow the 10 Commandments, or you don't. 

However, when it comes to social and political issues, there are grey areas. Unfortunately, no one seems to believe that any more. You either support gays or you don't. You're either Christian or your not. You are conservative or liberal. You are racist, or you're not. You're going to allow in refugees or you're a hateful bigot. 

I wish some people would stop thinking that Republicans are hateful, rich, hypocritical bigots and that Democrats are liberal hippies who have no sense of reality.  

Gay Marriage : I'm for it. 

Personally: I don't believe homosexuality is natural by God's standard. I do believe true marriage is ONLY between a man and a woman. 

Politically: I do believe all men/women have the right to love whoever they want, and be married if they so choose. After all, this is a free country, and isn't it the Bible that talked about free will? No politician, or Christian, has the right to tell someone they can't marry the love of their life. 

Abortion: I'm against it. 

Personally and Politically: I am a mother by choice. I made the decision to procreate. Most women did too, otherwise they could have practiced abstinence. When you have sex, you take the risk. (Protected or not, as protection is not 100% effective.) If you were raped, you can still put the child up for adoption. That child could be a great scientist, someone who creates beautiful art. Either way, the fetus is the formation of a living child. To toss it out, is to devalue life. Using politics to rid yourself of what you consider your shame, embarrassment and a mistake is pathetic. What if your parents had aborted you? 

Refugees: I am against the idea of rushing them in here to meet some goal President Obama's administration has set. 

Personally: There are children out there. There have been a lot of amazing people come to America who were refugees, who changed the U.S. forever in a positive way. This included actors to scientists. I believe in helping all people from ALL races, faiths and walks of life. They NEED our help. I would love to see those children  sleeping in a safe, warm bed; instead of in the streets. What if that was my son? What if that was my husband? What if it was me? I want to feed the hungry, clothe the naked and support the poor, like most actual Christians. We believe in helping those in need, as quickly as possible. The U.S. has already helped 2,200 refugees. That's pretty amazing. Good for us, but yes, there are MANY more to help. Our work is not done.   

Politically: It doesn't make sense. The vetting process takes MORE THAN A YEAR at best. Even then, there are refugees who don't have enough background information available for the United Nations to vet them properly. I mean, heck, one of the terrorists who attacked Paris made it through a refugee processing center. If President Obama talks congress into letting in refugees too quickly, we as Americans, could be responsible for another 9-11. Yes, I am scared. Anyone who isn't, is fooling themselves. To rush this process could, and most likely would, be extremely dangerous. To allow 10,000 refugees in by the end of the year (President Obama's goal) would require the vetting process to be sped up. Then, by 2017 he wants to be letting in 100,000 a year. Now that is not only a dangerous risk, it's also unrealistic.

When it comes to equality, complication is to be expected.

I'm ALL about equality. That said, this whole thing on the Mizzou campus is insane. That I think we can all agree on.
For the protesters side:
1. I have no idea what it's like to be in the African American minority. To say they are making it up or dramatizing in would be very presumptuous. Especially when the only thing I know about it, I've read on the news.
2. Many say these so called "incidents" probably never happened. I was a journalist once and still am at heart. I know how this works. Documentation may have existed once and disappeared, or it may never have existed at all on purpose, if Mizzou truly is a racist campus.
For the "this is based on lies" side:
1. Obviously the protesters haven't handled this the right way and many may have rushed to social media without being 100% sure on what they were posting.
2. It's not right that the president and maybe others will or have lost their jobs. They worked hard to get there. I don't believe one person's decisions can stamp out inequality (especially on a college campus.)
3. I am sure the campus has tried many things to battle racism and equality issues from diversity training, to more scholarships and job opportunities for African Americans, proud support of Michael Sam and allowing groups like the protesters to form on the MU campus.
4. The university cannot prevent all incidents. To believe it (or one person) can, is just insane. There are so many things that happen on a campus daily. There is no way the campus police or administration can find, report and battle them all.
*For those writing idiotic commentaries online:
Who cares if Johnathon Butler's dad is rich? That's the only detail I've seen. I haven't seen proof that this Eric Butler is his father. I haven't seen proof that he lived with his father and benefited from this man's money. I haven't seen anything demonstrating that he had every advantage.
Maybe his father didn't pay for his education. Maybe his dad doesn't pay for his healthcare. My parents have helped me a lot in the financial department. That said, they aren't rich, and they don't pay for all my expenses. They helped when I was in college, but I was a lucky one. I know many people whose parents say, "sorry kid you are on your own," or "I'm still going to raise my child without spending too much on them. They need to learn to work for everything themselves." (A good lesson to teach in my opinion.)
Even if he did have all these privileges, it doesn't mean he hasn't had to endure racism. That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

I could write a million things about this, but I think I'm done.

The great divorce debate

I've recently read several articles stating the divorce rate is actually way lower than 50 percent, which was previously believed by researchers.
The worst by far, was one about how Christians get divorced less than those who aren't Christians. 
The divorce rate could be lower than 50 percent in general. I have no clue to be honest, other than what is reported in various news outlets. However, the last three bullet points in this "research article" which really bother me, are:
-Most marriages are happy.
-Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems.
-Most remarriages succeed.
The first bullet point is the most unrealistic. What measures a happy marriage? 1. Just because people don't get divorced, doesn't mean a marriage is "happy." 2. A lot of people convince themselves they are happy, even though they really aren't. They don't want to give up the dream. I doubt many have even admitted to themselves their marriage is unhappy, let alone claimed it's unhappy on a survey. 3. I don't believe you can even classify a marriage as "happy" or "unhappy." All marriages have good and bad days. Unless, you are in an abusive relationship, your spouse is cheating on you or something along those lines. Then you should get out ASAP.
To the second bullet point, at least the "reporter" said most marriage problems require a simple change. There are lots that don't. If you have a cheating spouse, that's not a simple fix. If you have an abusive spouse (verbally or physically), that's not an easy fix. If you fight about money 75 percent of the time, that is NOT an easy fix. It is not easy to change one's nature, even though it may sound easier than it is. Both my husband and I have flaws. To me, my flaws are not easy to fix. To him, his flaws are not easy to fix. Easy from an outside view, maybe? To those in the marriage, each problem is complicated and not easy. Working together and excepting each others flaws though, can make it easier.
Most remarriages succeed? First of all, when a person gets married the second time, or when two people remarry each other again? Either could be true, but I don't believe there is any accurate way to fully track the data.
It just goes to show many people read the headline and don't really think through the content and pick it apart before posting. Goodbye critical thinking. I guess you are a thing of the past to many people.

My view, from the big 27

There's a point in everyone's life when they realize birthdays have become a little less exciting. Your 25 presents you used to get turn to single digits, you realize you are seriously getting older and it becomes a regular day where, if you a responsible adult, you still have to go to work.
It may sound sad, but one of the things I have grown accustomed to is seeing who tells me happy birthday on Facebook. I get a little smile usually, thinking of how I met the person who goes out of their way to say it. It also reminds me of all the old friends I have from various stages of life.
I think the most amazing thing is to see the diversity of people I have come in contact with over the last 27 years. This year (and the day is not yet over) I have had birthday wishes from so many people, I lost count. People wishing me the best ranged from my childhood piano teacher to newspaper reporters. I even had a happy birthday from an elementary school principal, a college theater professor and my previous land lord.
It's amazing to see the friends I have accumulated so far. It's an amazing world of technology that keeps us all connected, even if in the smallest of ways.
Thanks for the birthday wishes and here's to over 27 more!

The Best and Worst of Facebook: Gay Marriage

I held back on my Facebook posts the past couple days. Why? I was just so consumed with reading the thoughts of others.
I strongly believe real marriage is ordained of God and is between a man and a woman. I also feel very seriously about the separation of church and state. I believe people have this thing called free agency, which gives all people the right to choose to live the way they believe is right.
That said, if the government wants to recognize gay marriage, it's within the government's right to do so. America also has freedom of religion, so I also have the right to my own beliefs.
All in all, I am truly happy for those who are happier because of the Supreme Court's decision.
Here's what I took away from Facebook this week, the best and the worst posts.
Best: 
1. Posts about showing respect and compassion to all, regardless of their beliefs or opinions on gay marriage. Christ taught to love, so we must continue to show love to one another. (I had several people post things along those lines, but I can't seem to find them all now.)
2. "What a wonderful day. I know this ruling doesn't make everything perfect, and that there are still a great many good people in this country who disagree with the fact that I can now marry who my heart chooses and my head decides, but I'm trying to set that aside for the moment and let all the joy at how this ruling legitimizes my life and the lives of gay people all over this country dance through my veins. It's nice to feel legit." (a friend of a friend posted this and I think everyone should feel legit.)
3. I am about 100 percent sure Obama isn't going to revoke religious freedom. It would cause a civil war. However, it's still an interesting question about how churches will be treated in choosing whether to marry a gay couple or not. 
4. Comments about how the news today is often sad, but how the story of the Supreme Court ruling gives many hope.
5. The photo of an actual rainbow over Springfield the day after the Supreme Court's decision. No matter what you believe, coincidence or sign, it's still kind of cool.
Worst:
1. Conservative side: Keep your comments to yourself if you disagree with me. Liberal side: If you don't agree with the Supreme Court you can unfriend me. This just shows ignorance and intolerance of the beliefs and thoughts of others. It makes it pretty clear people posting these things don't want anything to do with anyone different than themselves. That's pretty sad.
2. The pastor who promised to set himself on fire if gay marriage passed. Because we all know he followed through with that...
3. People who are posting anything comparing gay marriage to love between humans and animals, cars and humans or other inanimate objects. It's worse than people acting like animals are people. Now you're comparing people to animals. That is inhumane and uncaring.
5. All the rainbow photos. Enough is enough. Turning your photo, or worse, making the White House look like a rainbow is ridiculous. Doing this for one day, maybe, but doing it for multiple is over the top.

Scientists are all the beholders and we are all pawns

So Business Insider thinks scientific research shows what makes a woman more attractive and what makes a man more attractive.

My first thought was, why is business insider wasting its time on this junk? My second thought was, how does Business Insider, or any other entity or person for that matter, think they can nail down what make a person attractive or not?

Some of the points on both sides could or might not be true, but hasn't Business Insider heard that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" I know my husband and I joke around about attractive or unattractive actors. He will often say "That's so werid. That guy is not at all attractive."

Sure, physical attraction is important. It's what makes someone want to take a chance on a date to begin with and it's a big part of what keeps a relationship alive. That said, it's not the only thing.
All the people that I have all found seriously attractive have a few things in common. It wasn't all based on physical appearance.

1. Each guy made me feel important. The individual was interested in everything I had to say, or at least pretended they did. :)

2. All had a stroke of kindness in one way, shape or form. It might have been that I saw them open the door for someone on more than one occasion, they showed compassion for their fellow man or woman by expressing interest in a social issue or they went out of their way to serve others.

3. Each one made me feel like I wanted to be a better person. It could be they made me want to be more educated, more physically fit or just all in all, a more compassionate person.

All those factors made their smiles cuter, made their eyes more attractive or made me want to spend time with them more.

Maybe it's just me, but I think personality makes a huge difference on the outward appearance of a person.

Of course, I could be wrong and it could have more to do with facial hair, less makeup and a 7;10 waist ratio.

News isn't the news you grew up with

I've been reading a lot of newspapers lately, now that my business is more print than ever before. The news you read in newspapers isn't what it used to be, and if it is, the paper may not be in business for long.

For small town papers, things are in some ways a little slower at changing. People still want to see the cute photos of the kids at the local elementary school, hear all the news from city council or know their neighbor made the dean's list in a traditional format. However, in the bigger cities/large towns, things are a bit tougher I think.

Newspapers are now competing with not just TV and Internet in general, but social media. I can tell you from a first person point of view that's true. My generation, some older than me and all the generations below me are falling more and more into this trend.

If it wasn't for my job, I wouldn't read the actual physical newspaper. Maybe I shouldn't say that, but it's true. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying newspapers aren't relevant, because they are. Our local government, schools etc. will always be relevant. That means we need local media in some form. However people more and more are going straight to the web. I like digital newspapers with the same design, but without all the black ink getting all over my hands.

I am a big subscriber to the idea that I can get on Facebook or Twitter and pick out what interests me most. The "marketplace of ideas." I see it and pick what I want. That may sound crazy, but really, even paper readers have been doing this a long time. We may look at the photos or a story or two we want, but most of us don't read the newspaper cover to cover.

That's why I think a lot of larger city papers have stories such as who the highest paid NBA player is, the controversy behind a bill proposed at city council or a deeper look into the local criminal justice system in a column style format. I much rather read about who the highest paid NBA player is than read a story which says "at city council Monday, the board voted to allow people to walk their dogs in the park." It would be more entertaining to read "Dogs in the Park? City workers will spend more time cleaning up after dogs than fixing your roads." Of course that's an exaggeration, but you get the idea.

News is becoming more and more entertainment. Is that to the detriment of society? Honestly, probably. But, I am not one to oppose it, as I am as guilty as all the other readers out there. It's the business. Yes, newspapers are a service, but they are also a business. Right now I guess we're in the business of informative entertainment.

No rights, not even divorce

Something I found interesting in today's headlines was that a Missouri man was denied a same-sex divorce. 

I find it kind of interesting, like the reporter in the above article, that this is one of the first things I've heard about gay couples fighting to be able to legally get a divorce.

I guess it makes sense that if a marriage isn't recognized by a state, a divorce wouldn't be either.

However, just like the right to be married, I think everyone should have the right to be divorced. Of course, I guess it's just a technicality, like marriage is these days anyways to many.

I am an avid television watcher, as my husband and friends can tell you. In one of my favorite "night-time soaps" (as my mother likes to call them), Grey's Anatomy, the two main characters don't get married at first. They self commit themselves to each other on a post-it note. It seems silly, and it is, but it gets a point across about how marriage is viewed by many today in the U.S. It's a piece of paper, saying that you have devoted yourself to each other. Now, I doubt most newly weds view it that way, or many married people. However, it is a statement saying by law (and depending on your beliefs, by God) you are bound together until death. (Or eternity, if you have that belief).

In the U.S. in 2014, it is common place for a man and a woman to live together instead of getting married. It's common for a man and a woman who are married to also be "separated" instead of divorced. So, the same goes for gay and lesbian couples. The only difference, is that if you want to ever have that piece of paper, saying you are married again, you have to take care of the first one.

So, sure this couple could be "separated" instead of divorced, and based on how Americans live now, it might not be that big of a deal that they aren't "officially divorced."

One of the articles on this story said this case "isn't about marriage equality," because all they want is a divorce. It's clear to me though, both allowing gay marriage and gay divorce is about the same thing: equality.

Equality is what America is founded on, right? We don't discriminated based on religion or disabilities right? Isn't it about time we start showing that instead of talking the big talk, while not walking the walk?

Even if it's against your religious beliefs, or your moral code, or whatever the case may be; same-sex marriage is about equality right along with same-sex divorce.

Local: Bye bye benefits

I remember in my younger and more naive days, which really wasn’t all that long ago, I believed people only volunteered to serve for their elected capacities. In my mind they received no compensation whatsoever.
Yeah, go ahead and laugh at my childish notions all you want to. I just thought all local politicians were always doing their duty out of the goodness of their hearts from the city officials to the county officials.
Since adulthood, I have come to realize that most elected officials whether in our city, in the state or in Washington D.C., receive some sort of compensation, whether great or small. At the last Stockton Board of Aldermen meeting, I found out that sometimes, the local politicians get benefits too.
Regardless of this fact, which did surprised me, what surprised me even further was how the Board of Aldermen voted unanimously to say goodbye to their benefits to save the city some money.
Note again, that it was unanimous. I would be lying, if I said there wasn’t any discussion over the idea of keeping the benefits or at least keeping them longer to continue to benefit those currently in office, but regardless it was a unanimous vote. 
After starting my job as a full-time journalist about three years ago, I have heard countless comments about how corrupt city, county, state and federal government is and how all they do is spend our hard-earned money. That may be true for some politicians, but I think all in all it's a stereotype we get from movies and television. Of course, I could be wrong when it comes to the big leagues, but I like to believe  it's not true.
I think this move by the Board of Aldermen was a statement that counteracts that stereotype. Would I give up my health care benefits so that my neighbor wouldn't have to pay as many taxes? Honestly, I don't know the answer, but I am glad I don't have to consider it. Health care is already considered something that's important to have, but not as easy or as affordable to get.
I don't know how good the health insurance benefits were for the city officials, or where they each stand financially, but either way, giving up benefits is a move for all the city residents of Stockton.
This is the first time I've felt the need to thank specifically city officials in a column, but here it is: Thanks city officials for proving the stereotype wrong.
It's like we learned as kids, a penny saved is a penny earned.

"I want to discriminate!"

So, I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but you'll have to forgive me, as I have been very busy with my new job.

"I want to discriminate," is the statement some religious nut jobs should have recently been making. Oh wait, they were, just not in so many words.

Springfield recently passed a "non-discrimination ordinance." In a nut shell the ordinance is an addition to a previous one, adding that employers renters etc., can't discriminate based on sexual orientation as well as what was already in place, which notated non-discrimination against race, religion etc. 

I get that religious leaders who have spoken out about this are against it because they believe it demonstrates an allowance for homosexuality. A lot of these churches believe homosexuality to be a sin, because it is preached against in the bible. Accepting it politically, or otherwise, is saying that it's acceptable, but by God's definition (based on the bible), it's not.

I am a religious person, and even I have my limits to where I believe lines should be drawn in politics, morally. I would be lying if I said I felt otherwise, but this ordinance is not one of those times to speak out, in my moral opinion.

I don't care if someone is African American, gay, white, straight, jewish, atheist, southern baptist or Amish. Why should anyone not be able to get a house or get a job based on these above labels? The only reason someone should be denied a job, is if they are truly not qualified, or another candidate is better qualified. The only reason someone should be denied a house, is simply because they don't have the financial qualifications or because there is a proven record of destroying property.

Just because we don't like what someone does, doesn't mean we should decide for them that they should not be able to live down the street from us. No matter what we think or feel, we can't make people be who we want them to be. All we can do is show kindness for other people, inspite of the things that we might believe are faults. I mean, after all, isn't that what Jesus taught? To love one another? It wasn't to love someone only if we think they live their lives to deserve it. 

They've stolen my blissful ignorance!!!

I have NEVER been a healthy eater, yet I ALWAYS say that I want to be. One day, I'll get there and hopefully before I have a heart-attack from eating cheeseburgers way too often.

However, there is a place where I draw the line. It's frozen cheeseburgers, which I don't like to begin with and despise when they come from one of my favorite fast food joints. 

If I was to sit down and think about it, it's obvious that most fast-food joint burgers themselves and other items come to the restaurant frozen already, delivered by large trucks. However, when I go to a restaurant - greasy fast food or otherwise - I like to at least think I am enjoying a nice hand prepped meal. It may sound silly to most, but I like that illusion and the blissful ignorance of going to a restaurant.

I know many people - journalists and health nuts mostly - who will read through all the restaurant inspections etc. and choose whether to go to a place or not, based on that. Well, I will tell you, I cook ALOT for my family and for others. I don't have cockroaches in my kitchen or open containers of raw meat stored above open containers of produce, but I am sure that mine, and many other home kitchens, would not pass the tests carried out by our system.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that health code system is in place. I don't want to be eating somewhere that should clearly be shut down and be completely ignorant of it. But, in general I like the ignorance is bliss train of thought when it comes to my food. Sure, it's important to be informed that too many fatty cheeseburgers can kill me, but I don't really care to know how the cow was butchered etc. I like to pretend hamburger meat is just that: a burger. It's not a black and white cow that I might see as I am driving through small Missouri towns, it's just meat.

Now to many, especially those who grew up in the great outdoors, I just sound ignorant and ridiculous. I know that.

Now, how does this all tie in to this silly frozen meal concept? I don't want to know that the freezer burgers are similar to the ones in the restaurant. I'd like to be in blissful ignorance, thinking that each Steak N' Shake burger was made with love. :)

I know most people probably don't care about this as much as I do, and think I am being a silly little child. However, I don't care. This was the final straw that is probably going to make me want to NEVER eat Steak N' Shake again. I could ignore the extreme greasiness of the food and maybe how the floors are always greasy when I eat inside a Steak N' Shake, but now every time I go to the grocery store, I will be reminded of how one of the stops of my past had a big EPIC FAIL. If you knew how many times a working mom has to go to the grocery store, you would understand.

Will this blog come back to haunt me when I open up my own restaurant someday? Probably.

Moving is never easy

In a little over a week I will be leaving my current job, Editor of South County Mail to pursue a job with the Cedar County Republican . This means, not only changing jobs, but relocating. I really haven't relocated all that many times in my young life (cities and towns that is, not apartments, because I've lived in a lot of those.)

When I left my hometown in Rolla, Missouri, where I had lived my whole life, I was pursuing a Bachelor's Degree at Missouri State University in Springfield. Sure, I had traveled to places such as Hawaii, Scotland, England and various states in the U.S., but I had never lived anywhere else. Springfield, approximately 1 1/2 hours from Rolla, was not all that far from home, but the first time I had left to live anywhere else. My parents were older than most when I was born, so they were ready to settle down by then.

Since then, the only other place I have lived is Ozark. The city of Ozark is only about 20 minutes from Springfield, so it really wasn't much of an adventure and we did everything in Springfield then anyways.

After college, I freelanced a little while and then took my current job. Even though I stayed in Springfield, I really felt like I lived in many places. I truly felt like I was a part of Rogersville, Fordland and sometimes on rare occasions, Marshfield and Seymour. So now, as I live Springfield, I not only leave my home of 7 years behind, but I leave two other towns that feel like home.

I am very excited to move to Stockton, Missouri for many reasons. 1) The job will be great. 2) I'll be close to the lake. 3) We will be closer to my husband's family, that only lives about 20 minutes away.

However, it's hard to do. It seems strange to back up my belongings and move somewhere for a job, because technically, I've never done it before.

I am excited to embrace my new life, but I will be leaving an old one behind. It's sad, but happy all at the same time. I guess relocating is just part of growing up and I guess now it's time for me to make my own path.

It just feels odd to drive to a place and know it might be the last time you do so, right?

Here's my column I wrote for the paper.

No one else could do what he did

So, I told myself I wasn't going to blog about Robin Williams, because so much has already been said. What more is there to say? But, I couldn't help myself.

In my lifetime I remember a lot of celebrities who have died in various ways. Some have been ill, others died of old age, others died in plane crashes or something along those lines. I would have to say out of all the celebrity deaths, this one has hit me the hardest because there is no one else in this world who could do exactly what Williams could. (Kind of like The King of Pop, but that's a whole other story.)

Just about everyone who has ever watched comedy or movies, knows who Williams is. I was first introduced to his voice skills in Aladdin, which to this day, is still one of my favorite Disney movies. I could sing practically all the songs acapella, I know them so well.

Then as I got older I could appreciate Mrs. Doubtfire. A soon-to-be divorcee pretends to be an old woman so he be the nanny for his kids. I think this film always hit me hard because my father missed my half-sister so much after he got a divorce from her mother. Even to this day he refuses to watch any movie that involves divorce or a custody battle. I guess I related Williams to my father in a small part. A good father who just wants to be with his children.

Since then, I have grown very fond of his characters in Dead Poets Society, August Rush, One Hour Photo (it's a terrible movie, but his performance is absolutely stunning because it's so darn creepy), Jumanji, Night at the Museum (the first, not the second) and his Law and Order: SVU episodes (which were really darn good).

His death has made me realize a few things, but especially this:

It's easy to get caught up in our own world with work, friends, and entertainment. It reminds me how important it is to be there for other people. EVERYONE is going through something, even if we don't see it right away. I know when I am feeling blue the thing I want to turn to right away is either my friends or family. Some people keep it inside more, but I think the best thing we each can do, it let those we love know it. Don't delay! I know it sounds cheesy, "say it because each day might be our last." However, it's true, we never know when that person we're used to won't be there anymore. If my loved one is going through something, I sure hope I have let them know that I am there for them.